Just call me Meg!

Kristen had this website on her blog. It's a nifty little site that matches your face to a celebrities using a highly scientific and accurate method. (Yes I added the scientific and accurate method part because I want it to be true!)
I decided to try it out and it said I look 70% like the fabulous Meg Ryan! This made my day!

Sewing machines should have breaks!

Yes, I want some cheese with my whine!

I hardly ever see my husband anymore. Between work and school he is never here. It makes me sad and leaves me overwhelmed. This is as close to being a single parent as I ever want to come. Worst of all, Erin's grades are suffering because I can't keep it all going alone. She needs routine and lately I haven't provided anything stable. We've all been more than preoccupied with surgery and sickness. It showed in Erin's report card. I know, it's only 4th grade, but I hate to see that my lack of structure is causing her to strugle. She's a smart kid, but she needs firm parenting. I was a do-it-myself kind of child. My mom never had to ask me about my homework or if my room was clean. I was very self motivated. Erin is more of the free thinking type. Her little brain goes from A to Z in a matter of seconds. I love this about her. I adore that she is so creative and imaginative. It does require me to keep her little thinking train on track though. It was easier when David was here to pick up some of the slack. I don't blame him for any of this. I'm glad that he is going to school and creating opportunity for himself and our family. It's just tough being in the thick of it. I just keep reminding myself only a few more months to go. I'm trying to convince him to take a 6 week phase break. He's warming up to the idea. I'm sure he has to be just as exahusted as I am if not more so.

MY HEAVENLY

let the wind fall wild across my path
even though we barely move, there's no turning back
there is a river; there is a road
place of holy riches untold
it's where i'm s'pposed to be
where i'm s'pposed to be
my heavenly, mmm-mmm

i know it never feels right
to let go of the safety we're used to holding so tight
but there is a lion underneath these skies
though love cries (though love cries)
though love cries, love will rise
my, my, my heavenly

so fly me higher, higher
hope fill me, keep me here
love lion, my, my...

so when i'm lonely or when i'm old
life is more behind me
all the stories have been told
i can fix my gaze up through the clouds
where i'm gonna be
where i'm gonna be
my heavenly

my, my heavenly
my heavenly

Lyrics by Dan Haseltine

I should be sleeping, but I'm having too much fun creating. It was a long day and I needed these hours to catch up on "me" time. I just finished some scrapbook pages. I made a new freebie set and I can't stop using it. It is getting really hard to type straight so I should go to bed now. Good Night

I had big plans for today. I had visions of re-organizing the back closet and putting all of the Christmas decorations away in the new green storage containers I purchased at Target for $3. Everything started off well. I started cleaning the kitchen and moved from one cabinet to the other ridding them of items we don't need. I worked in the living room. I cleaned out our filing cabinet to ready it for a new year full of new papers I need to keep "just in case". I managed to move a few boxes in the back closet. I even took all the decorations off the tree and placed them lovingly in their new green tub home. It is a good start, a very good start in deed, but I'm obsesive. I don't like that it isn't finished. I can't stand that there are boxes in my hall that need to go to the Salvation Army and I can't take them there because it's past midnight and it would be rediculus to load them in the truck and drive them over there at this hour. Not to mention the fact that David is sick. He knew I was planning a big cleaning weekend. I'm sure that is why he got sick. Yep, he did it on purpose. How am I supposed to lift those oversized boxes into the back of the truck all by myself? I will find a way. I must have order!

Wednesday a lady walked into the club whose appearance was "practicaly perfect in every way". Her hair was perfect. Her makeup was perfect, and her outfit was, you guessed it, perfect. She was wearing a pink wool jacket that appeared to be made for her under which she wore a light pink cami and the most awesome pair of black dress pants I have ever seen. They too seemed to be made just for her and there was a kick pleat type cut in the back of each leg. She also had on a matching pink pearl necklace and earring set. She was put together so well and it made me so jealous. (To top it off, she was super sweet.) I have never been one of those people. I always feel frumpish and thrown together even on my best days. My outfits aren't much to look at considering I work at a gym. Is there really anyway to look fashionable in gym clothes? My hair and makeup are at best average on most days. I suppose I shouldn't be too hard on myself. Waking up at 5 a.m. doesn't allow for much primping time. I guess I'm not really in search of the look as I am the confidence behind the look. I want to feel put together and not so frumpish even while working in a gym. I know it has nothing to do with the clothes or the hair or makeup and everything to do with what you feel on the inside. I'm working on that part too.

WARNING: Long Post Ahead

It's been a nice few days. David has been off work and school since Sunday which meant three full days of not having to work for him and three evenings of having him home to snuggle with. He did have to return to school last night and Erin was back in school so our schedule was back to normal. It was a quiet evening. Erin is at the delightful age when children are able to entertain themselves for the most part. I did teach her how to knitt which turned into quite an ordeal. I taught her to knitt about a year ago and she did well with it, but lost interest quickly and didn't think about it again until she saw me knitting. She picked it up again quickly, but didn't understand why she couldn't listen to music, watch t.v., and knitt all at the same time. She thought it would be fun for the two of us to knitt together, but that will have to wait. I had to stop every few stitches to fix what she had done. The first few times I was okay, but after the 26th time my patience was running out. I finally told her to either pay complete attention to the knitting or put it down and pick it up when she could focus 100% on it. She turned off her walkman and the television and knitted the next 5 rows prefectly.

One of my biggest New Years resolutions is to be in bed by 10. I really feel that this is an important one for me because functioning on 5 hours of sleep doesn't boad well with me. Unfortunantly it is as difficult as it is important. David usually doesn't get home from school until 10:30 so going to bed at 10 means I don't spend any time with him durring the day. Last night I fell asleep on the couch around 9:30. He woke me up when he came home and I went to bed while he watched t.v. I'm not sure what time he came to bed. It was difficult to fall back asleep without him there. Everyone says I'll get over that fast, but I don't want to get over it. I never want to be used to him not being there. I keep telling myself this is only until he finishes school. He might be taking a phase break for the next six week session. I hope he is able to. It's a break we could all use. Until then I will be making sure the television and lights are off by 10.

I know this has already been a long post but I just want to mention a documentary my friend, Edith, gave me to watch. It's called "Laughing Club of India" and it's by Mira Nair. It's on a dvd that has a collection of documentary shorts from the Full Frame documentary film festival. The documentary shows a doctor and group of people in India who have started a laughing club which is nothing more than a group of people meeting to laugh. Edith is starting a Laughing Club of her own and I think it will be interesting to attend. The documentary just reminded me that it's okay to laugh for no reason at all and that laughter, even when it's forced, can make you feel better.

It's raining outside. It's been raining since I left my house for work this morning. That was two hours and two members ago. Yep, only two members have braved the terential downpour to join me. Starbucks(situated conveniently next door) has had a constant stream of caffine consumers. The morning the coffee crew greeted me with a smile as I ordered my tall nonfat no whip pepermint mocha. Did you know pepermint is a year round thing now Kristen? I had no idea, but I'm certainly glad I found out. Even with my new esspresso machine and the bottle of pepermint flavoring, I can't seem to get that same Starbucks flavor. It's a work in progress I guess. Well, another member just joined us. I supposed I should do something productive with my day. Rain just makes me want to sleep.