Our visit to David's sisters house was good. We went down to help paint their pepto bismal pink house to a more livable tan, but we didn't get any painting done. By the time we got there she had finished the front of the house so she and I sanded and power washed one side of the garage while the guys put in a fence and worked on the tractor and fork lift. We also spent some time hanging out at the pool and playing poker. It's always good just to spend time together. Abbey and Erin play together really well, and I love that Erin gets to be outside playing like I did as a kid. Lauire let us know last week that she had another miscarriage. The doctors are confident that she will have another healthy pregnancy. I know it's difficult for her to believe that, but I have faith that the doctors are right.
Being there stirs up all these longings in me to move. I want to come home, pack everything up, sell what won't fit in the truck, and head for PA. It's not so much having a house or a pool or any of those things. It's the ability to sit outside in the sun. We don't have a yard or a balcony. A busy street is five feet from my door. We can spend time outside if we want to drive to the park, but that isn't always convenient. I miss being able to sit outside on the porch and just be. Even if we were able to sit outside here, the only view to enjoy is that of the buildings across the street and the traffic noise is so loud we wouldn't be able to carry on a conversation. It's not as awful as I am making it out to be. It's just tough to be a country girl living in the city. Yesterday David and I talked seriously about him finding a job in PA once he graduates and just moving. It will be tough financially, but it's not going to get any cheaper the longer we wait.

You can probably tell by the look of things what I spent most of yesterday and today doing. It was fun to figure out how to make three columns with blogger.
Erin and I got our hair cut today. We both look stunning of course. I'll post some pictures next week.
We are heading out to David's sisters house for Memorial Day. It should be fun. She is going to put us to work painting the exterior of their house.

I couldn't sleep last night. First, I got up to answer the phone which to my dismay never rang in the first place. Then, I thought I saw smoke coming from Erin's room and had to get up twice to make sure that nothing was on fire and nothing was plugged in that could start a fire. When I finally got back to bed, the voices started. They whispered at first about 27 being just around the corner. They got louder as they mentioned that at this point, I've been overweight for most of my adult life. They screamed about me being almost 30 and having no solid plan for a baby or a career. I've never been afraid of age, but without my noticing, a fear of 30 has slipped threw a crack in my subconscious and is giving me hell. I tell myself that it is just a number, and that there are no guidelines that say I should have this or that by 30, but I don't believe any of it. By 30, I want to be more settled, but that only happens by having a clear plan at 27. Twenty-seven is a month away and I have no plan. I am currently without a plan and scared that any plan I manage to concoct will be nothing but smoke and mirrors created to fool my subconscious into thinking I've got it all figured out.

Everything but the kitchen sink...

Finally, a church we can all attend.

Erin tried out for her schools talent show on Tuesday. She and her new friend, Gigi, will be shaking their butts to Shakira. Don't worry, I'm a total prude so it's a tasteful dance. Keep your fingers crossed that they make it in. We'll know on Monday.
Speaking of talent, I love American Idol finalist, Taylor Hicks. Yes, I watch the show faithfully, and I don't care how that reflects on me as a person. You can hear some songs from Taylor's cd here. Listen and tell me what you think of this soulful grey haired almost idol.
My sister-in-law told us Sunday that she is six weeks pregnant. She lost the last one at 7 weeks so we're all praying that this pregnancy will be okay.
A friend recently told me that her husband has lung cancer. He's been sick for several months with what the doctors thought was pneumonia. When it didn't get better, they realized the worst. He's starting chemo. Surgery is not an option because it's already spread to his bronchial tube. Please pray for her and her family.
Once again I am reminded that there is life and death in equal proportion. The universe keeps it's delicate balance.

She is ten and I am frustrated and amazed by her. Her body is rounding the cusp of womanhood while everything else is in limbo. Our arguments lately have been about this. She would like to shave her legs and wear makeup while playing with dolls and pretending to be a princess. My mind can not reconcile these two things. Ten equals transition, and transition is never easy. I'm pushing hard to keep her a child a moment longer, and she pushes back in equal proportion. I tell her that she shouldn't be in such a hurry to grow up while remembering myself at her age and how desperately I wanted to be "grown-up".
She is beginning to separate herself from me. She slices through the layers that connect us in an attempt to define herself apart from me. She deliberately chooses the opposite of whatever I choose, making this separation all the more clear. On a logical level, I understand her need to chip away at the cocoon I have spun around her. She is testing both of us, wiggling her barely formed wings in a space that is shrinking around her. I'm trying to be graceful about this and accept that it is the natural progression of things. I have a feeling that the next eight years are going to be one long tug-of-war and that we will both end up in the mud at times. I hope that we will be able to laugh about it and realize that the rope each of us is pulling on so hard is the very thing that connects us.