We can breathe a sigh of relief. David's test came back negative. I read through the brochure for the Expanded AFB test they do here in CA. It is not required. I have no idea if I should take it or not. It's almost not worth the worry.

Please say a little prayer for us today. The doctor called yesterday to tell me that I tested positive for the Cystic Fibrosis gene. David went in for the test yesterday. There is a 1/39 chance he will be a carrier too. It isn't likely, but you never know. I'm not freaked out about it, but it is a concern. I'm sure that the test will come back negative and everything will be fine, but until we know for sure, the "what-ifs" will be floating around in my brain.

Munch'n on crackers and trying to be excited.

I am hoping that what everyone has told me is true: this morning sickness, or all day sickness in my case, will go away after the first trimester. I really want to be excited and drown myself in all things baby, but this constant feeling of nausea has a way of sucking the excitement out of me.
Morning sickness or not, we had a fun time this weekend. Laurie and the girls visited so we all went to the Children's Discovery Museum. It's such and exciting place for children and adults of all ages. There is so much to do and explore. Taylor enjoyed the Crawlspace which is a special room for infants and babies just learning to walk. Erin learned how to make a corn husk doll and all of the kids made a snow portrait. I only wish it hadn't been so crowded.
Friday evening Laurie, Erin, and I met up with my father-in-law at The Poor House Bistro where we listened to one of the best bands I have heard in a while, the Lara Price Blues Band. The vocals were good, but Laura Chavez on guitar was nothing short of AMAZING! Erin was so inspired she's decided she wants to take guitar. I told her we would stick with the piano lessons for awhile and then talk about guitar.
Tonight, we are all snuggled in and ready to watch movies.

The post that took forever to get here!

What seems like forever ago, we found out we were pregnant. I avoided posting about it until our first visit to the doctor, so we could make sure everything was okay. That first visit was today. I'm extremely happy to say that everything is okay. Baby Jackson is almost eight weeks old and mama is healthy and happy other than the dreaded morning sickness which has plagued me since week four. It's been so difficult not to share this exciting news here, where I share everything. My recent lack of posting has been a result of sickness, fear that I would spill the beans too soon and something would go wrong, and a general feeling of mind numbness.
Even with the ultrasound photos as proof, this all seems so unreal. We had planned on having a baby this year, but hadn't planed on it happening this soon. Either way, we're very excited, nervous, and every other emotion you can imagine. I'll be looking forward to the sound advice that all the other mama's around here have to share, and I'll be paying close attention to Kristen's pregnancy and birth adventure since I'll be following close behind.

Tonight I will make dinner, Chicken Madeira with rice pilaf, salad, and chocolate covered strawberries for desert. I'll light the special candles on the dinner table and turn on my favorite XM radio station. We'll eat and talk and laugh. Maybe we'll throw in a little swing dance in the kitchen just for the fun of it. Then we'll snuggle on the couch and watch our favorite Thursday night shows. Who could ask for anything more?

*********************THE BEST LAID PLANS***************

Have you any idea what happens when a plate full of beautifully frosted sugar cookies is, by accident, left in an oven that is turned on? The smell of warm sugar was glorious for a few minutes. Then, the room filled with smoke and the ungodly smell of burnt sugar. The glorious sugar cookies Erin and I decorated were a molten mess of melted sugar and burnt cookie. To make matters worse, I had to spend 30 minutes cleaning out the oven before I could bake anything in it. When I finally got around to making dinner, I realized that I had forgotten to pick up butter and lemon juice, two necessary ingredients for Chicken Madeira. I had to run to 7-11 because it's the closest, and pay a ridiculous amount for my missing ingredients. I did eventually finish dinner, and we ate at a beautifully set table thanks to Erin who polished the table and set out all of the pretty plates and glasses. We did talk and laugh and dream about what will happen when we move. It was still beautiful and wonderful, there were just a few bumps in the road.

Because she needs her own special book all about her.

Several times this past week David has asked me what I want for Valentine's Day, and all I can think to ask for is more time, more hours in the day to listen to music, read, and practice something creative, more time away from a job that is dehydrating my soul. When we made this transition and I took over this job, I told David I could handle it for a year. It's been a year and a half! We are moving this June even if it means I have to load our belongings on top of a little red wagon and pull it all the way to Pennsylvania myself.

Did This Mom Go To Far? After seeing this story on GMA I visited their website and read the comments. It's amazing to me that people can believe there is a one size fits all method for raising children. If my mom had used this form of punishment on me it would have been 100% effective. Had she used it on my older sister, it would have backfired. As a parent, I feel that I know my daughter best and what will work for her. This mom knew her son, and knew that this would be effective for him. Good for her! Would I chose this form of discipline for Erin? Most likely not, but Erin comes from a completely different set of circumstances. Effective discipline teaches children that what they did is wrong and that they are capable of doing better. In his interview this little boy said "I can do better." over and over again. I'm sure he was embarrassed , but is that such a bad thing? Maybe a big part of the problem with many kids today is that they don't feel embarrassed by their bad behavior.

I had the most wonderful dream last night. I was at my favorite childhood amusement park , Conneaut Lake Park, with my grandparents. As we strolled through the amusement park, more interested in conversation and laughter than any of the rides, grandpa made comments about not knowing how he managed to stay married to my grandmother for 50 plus years as my grandma laughed and swatted him on the hand. When I woke up I had to remind myself that my grandpa is gone. It was nice for those few brief moments to hear his voice, see his smiling face, and feel the warmth of his hug. After I woke up, I realized that my memories of him are slipping away. I can barely remember the sound of his voice as he said "Hello there Butch!". Butch was the nickname he gave me the second he saw my first baby picture because he said I resemble my grandma's brother, Butch.

40 Year Old Secret

This secret inspired me to think about what I really want for my life. What does my heart say when I let it speak? Without the pressure of what is expected what would I be? My family is an easy going one, they only want me to be happy. I'm the one who applies the pressure and money seems to always be involved. How silly to place so many goals on the achievement of a thing thats value fluctuates more than my weight. I don't want to wait until I am forty to decide to live for me.

Happy Birthday to Erin!

We celebrated her 12th birthday this weekend with a Wii sleepover. She's been planing a sleepover for some time and had hopes that we would get her a Wii, but didn't have faith that we would pull through. I don't know why she doubts us. :) David managed to find one and we surprised her with it on Friday. She screamed so loudly that my ears are still ringing. I'm constantly amazed at how quickly she is growing up. The smallest part of her is still interested in fairy tales and make believe, while the larger portion is pulling her towards boys and teen magazines. Knowing that it is a natural progression doesn't make me like it anymore. I hold on tightly to the pieces of childhood that remain and talk with her about the teen years that are quickly approaching. Her heart and mind are preoccupied with all things boy and it has been the cause of some extremely dramatic episodes. It's especially interesting when David gets involved in the conversation. Like most fathers, he's considering a convent. :)