Happy Birthday Grandma!

My grandma now..


and then.

Today is my grandmas birthday. She is such a beautiful woman and has always been so loving towards me. I remember spending spring break with her every year. We would go on walks and pick up cans. She also taught me how to paint and fire ceramics and for a while she was my Sunday school teacher. I love her so much and wish I could be there to spend this special day with her. I called her to wish her a happy birthday and she sounded very happy. She said she was just playing games on the computer.

Happy Birthday Grandma!

Family and food, is there any better combination? Twenty-one of us gathered in the recreation hall of my grandma's church to celebrate Christmas today. It was wonderful to see my aunts, uncles, and cousins again. I love being with family. Family grounds me and reminds me that I'm a part of something much bigger. This side of my family is very connected to their heritage. My grandma can tell stories of her great-great-grandparents and because she and my grandfather were married when she was very young she tells stories of his side of the family too. It's nice to feel, see, hear, and taste that kind of history. Mostly it's nice to be with people who love me and one another fully. Erin played games with her cousins. I'm glad she was able to connect with them so quickly. David left early so he could get some sleep before going to work this evening. Hayden and I sat and talked and soaked up all of the goodness. He stole everyone's heart with his blue eyes and cute coo's.

I should have thought about the effect changes in temperature have on my joints before moving here. Since I was about 5 years old, my joints ache when a cold front moves in or if there is going to be any rain. I went to several doctors when I was younger. One said it was a calcium deficiency and another said growing pains. Whatever the cause nothing has ever made the pain go away. I just pop a few ibuprofen and if the pain is really bad I take a nice hot bath. That always does the trick. Maybe I should buy stock in ibuprofen.

Hayden is growing so fast! He has already rolled over while lying on our bed and is very close to rolling over while playing on his floor mat. He loves to hold his head up and look around, and he is a master conversationalist if you speak cooanese. He has also learned the fine art of placing any object his is lucky enough to get in his hands into his mouth. He always giggles when he manages to aim his hands for his mouth and hits the target.

Erin is very excited about Christmas break and is begging us to let her go to the Snowflake dance in January. It's going to take massive amounts of convincing to get her father to okay that.

My grandmother fell while walking down the ramp at her house yesterday. She broke her arm and two ribs. When she called me to tell me she had just gotten home from the ER and was already icing cookies she had baked before she fell. I'm going over to her house tomorrow to help her finish baking the last of the cookies she's making for a big order. She can talk with Hayden while I do all the work.

Me, well I'm hanging in there. My mind is a mess with all the things I want to and need to be doing, but all I seem to find time for is taking care of Erin, Hayden, the dogs, the cats, and the house. I'm in desperate need of a pedicure and if someone could do something with this hair I would so appreciate it! I made the mistake of coloring it red, and I should have known better. Red always fades very quickly and for some reason anytime I color my hair darker than it's normal shade it ends up feeling oily and having no volume regardless of the type of products I use. Crazy hair!

I Believe

The following image and e-mail comments were taken from PostSecret.



-----Email Message-----
Sent: Sunday, December 14, 2008 5:18 AM
Subject: timecard you're not alone

My son just wrote Santa last night asking for that special present and I didn't have the heart to tell him that "Santa's" back injury has kept HER from waiting tables the past two weeks .

my secret:
I wish Santa Claus was real so on Christmas no child would have to go without and no parent would have to feel like they failed there child.

-Amber (with permission)


-----Email Message-----
Sent: Monday, December 15, 2008 12:11 AM
Subject: re: timecard you're not alone

I know I cannot do this for every child out there, but if you would tell her that there is someone out there willing to try and buy their son that gift, then I would appreciate it very much.

I am a college student with a limited budget, but it would be a lovely Christmas present for me if I were able to put a smile on the faces of two strangers on Christmas morning.


-----Email Message
Sent: Sunday, December 14, 2008 11:53 PM
Subject: RE: timecard you're not alone

First off let me tell you how thankful I am to you and your wonderful offer. I was not in anyway expecting any sort of help I just wanted to let this person know they were not alone.

Gratefully yours,
-Amber

[Frank's Note:] (I asked Amber to set-up a PayPal account using this email address for those of us wanting to help.)
(PayPal Account information removed, as per Ameber's request.)


-----Email Message-----
Sent: Monday, December 15, 2008 4:05 PM
Subject: extra credit good karma AMBER

I made a donation and I was surprised at how good it felt. One does not have to be a millionaire to feel the joy of being generous.


-----Email Message-----
Sent: Monday, December 15, 2008 5:04 PM
Subject: RE: timecard you're not alone

Frank,

Santa Claus is real and is alive and well. He lives in you and others like you all over the world. I am overwhelmed by the love and generosity strangers have shown my family today. I never would have imagined it would get as large a response in such little time as it has. Not only will I be able to afford the present he asked for but clothes and other necessities I had been putting off.

At this time I am asking that you remove my paypal account from postsecret and I urge anyone else who wants to help someone in need to get into contact with their local community action centers.

Thank you for making my wish come true,
-Amber

ps I will send pictures of christmas morning!


One of the recent Advent readings from "Watch For The Light" talked about giving. To sum it up, the writer said that our giving at Christmas time was a way of saying we were self-sufficient and more of a boost to our own ego than anything else. I disagree. Sometimes people give because making another person happy makes us happy. Sometimes we give because we understand that the meaning of all of this is to love one another in whatever way we can. It could be a smile given to a person we pass on the street, or time spent with someone who is alone or feeling lonely, or it could be money sent to the account of a mom who needed a way to help her son see that Santa is real he just doesn't always show up in a red suit with a white beard. Sometimes he shows up as a college student.

Today's Advent reading

This is an excerpt from today's Advent reading in "Watch for the Light". For the entire story go here.

The God We Hardly Knew by William Willimon



....This is often the way God loves us: with gifts we thought we didn’t need, which transform us into people we don’t necessarily want to be. With our advanced degrees, armies, government programs, material comforts and self-fulfillment techniques, we assume that religion is about giving a little, of our power in order to confirm to ourselves that we are indeed as self-sufficient as we claim.

Then this stranger comes to us, blesses us with a gift, and calls us to see ourselves as we are -- empty-handed recipients of a gracious God who, rather than leave us to our own devices, gave us a baby.

Big Santa, Little Santa, & a few elf's too!

We had a yummy breakfast with Santa and Mrs. Claus today. Hayden and Erin each got a gift and a huge box full of candy. Hayden decided he liked Santa, but wasn't to happy with Mrs. Claus. Erin actually smiled in a photo and pretended not to hate me for a few hours. It was very nice! :)

Tis the season!

We have an eight foot blow-up lighted Santa in our yard along with a tree of lights (Thank you dad!). We still have to put the lights on the bushes and finish decorating our tree, but at least we've started decorating. This is the first time we've been able to decorate outside and it's fun. I love Christmas lights. They take away a little of the gloom from the grey days that are upon us.

I'm really excited about Christmas this year. We have very little extra money so the stress of buying gifts isn't there. I hadn't realized how out of hand our Christmas's had gotten until now. It's ridiculous the pressure I put on myself to buy gifts and spend $$. That isn't what this season is about at all. I'm sorry it took this to make me see. When I was growing up we never had much money for Christmas. My mom was a single mom with three children to support. I never realized we got less than anyone else. In fact, I thought we were pretty lucky because I knew there were others who got much less. One of our Christmas traditions was to buy a gift for one of the kids on the Angel tree and we also volunteered at the Salvation Army. My job was always picking out the gifts to go with wish lists kids had created. I always took my time picking out what I hoped would be the perfect gift. One year there was a family who lived down the street from us. It was a father and his two sons. My sisters and I became friends with the boys and when my mom suggested that we buy them gifts for Christmas we were very excited! We bought each boy a gift and several gifts for the whole family. We delivered them to the family on Christmas morning and the boys were so happy. I don't think they had any other gifts. Christmas always felt full when I was a kid. As an adult I searched and searched for that fullness, but couldn't find it. I was always trying to outdo whatever gift I bought for people the year before and that only leads to frustration.
The problem with using things to fill you up is that you have to buy more and more things to do the trick. This year circumstances beyond my control are forcing me to step out of that cycle. I'm finding more creative ways to show friends and family how much they mean to me, and I can feel that full feeling again.

Things with my insurance are finally worked out so I'll be calling my cardiologist and surgeon tomorrow to reschedule the appointments I missed in October. I can't say that I'm looking forward to meeting with them. My blood pressure doesn't seem to be regulating beyond what it did the first few weeks I was home. In fact a few nights ago it went crazy and was 135/104. It scared me a little. I took my medicine and it went back down. I just hate having to be on medications to keep it normal. My hope is that I'll be able to put off the surgery until spring. From what I've read while researching ASD's and open heart surgery many patients go through a phase of depression after the surgery. I think I'll have a better chance of keeping my spirits up if the sun is out and flowers are blooming. I also don't want to have to brave the wintry roads to travel back and forth to Pittsburgh for appointments.