I bought a new lens through craigslist a few weeks ago. Erin and I decided to take it out and play a little.

Our friend, Shauna, made the most delicious tortilla soup last night. Not much of a soup fan, I've never tried it before, but I must say that I'm now a big fan! It was a simple tomato based soup to which you add avocado, cheese, and tortilla strips. I had two bowls which was okay since David and Erin didn't eat any. They are such picky eaters!
After dinner we played Wow Cranium. Cranium has been one of our favorite games for a few years and since they added the "Wow" we love it even more. We always play males vs. females, and more often than not the females win. In last nights game, the boys had to do a challenge called side show where one team member uses another team members body to act out silent clues like sherades. The hint was person, and the answer was barista. Seeing the two of them try to act that out was hilarious! I haven't laughed that hard in a long time.

Don't visit this site...

and if you do. Don't say I didn't warn you.

I found Taste Spotting while browsing TCB and if I had known what I was getting myself into, I would have never clicked that link!

Delicious photos of food glorious food with links to recipes abound on this site that seems to have fallen from foodie heaven! My list of "must make now" recipes has tripled in size in only a few short hours and includes indulgences like Mini Apple Turnovers, New York Cheese Cake, Whoopie Pies With Peanut Butter filling, and the mother of all cupcakes which I plan on making tonight.

Hayden rocks and rolls in my belly. Each time I feel him it is as surprising as the first time, and it usually makes me giggle with delight. My doctors appointment yesterday went very well. He said everything from the ultrasound looks normal and my weight, which has gone up by seven pounds leaving me just a little under the weight I started with, is right on track. Even knowing that I need to gain weight for a healthy baby doesn't help the negative feelings I have towards weight gain. What a silly thing the diet/weight loss industry had done to my psyche.

Erin has been a handful these past few weeks. It's seems that the idea of soon being a teenager has sent her argumentative little self into overdrive. Even when we agree with her she disagrees with us. It's seriously frustrating. David tells me to stop arguing with her and to just make it cut and dry, but I have such a hard time with that. I want to see inside her brain so I can understand what the heck is going on in there to make her truly believe that she can disregard anything I tell her. I know there is no point in figuring out the why of it all. She doesn't even understand why she does it. Most of the time she comes back and apologizes within minutes of whatever argument we've just had. She's struggling with herself far more than I am struggling with her. It doesn't make it any less frustrating.

I'm going out to dinner tonight with friends and I'm really looking forward to it. This will be the first they've seen of the baby belly.
I work tomorrow and Sunday but am looking forward to having Monday off. I'll probably spend most of the day packing, but it will be nice to not be at work.

In all my prego glorry!

We are back from the land of knotty pines and rust colored soil. It is impossible to visit Oregon without thinking of Pam. The towering pines rustle with her laughter and the two lane highway that snakes its way through Klamath National Forrest carries her song.
The memorial service for Uncle Rick was exactly as he would have wanted it. The Honor Guard performed a flag ceremony as David's grandfather's flag soared above us. Those who were able stood and shared their memories of Rick. Those who could not simply nodded in agreement. Well into the evening we ate, drank, and remembered.

It may be a while before we see this part of our family again so I soaked up as much of them as I could. I listened intently as David's cousin, Becky, told me about her plans for the future. She was 14 when I first met her, and now she is 22. I am inspired by the beautiful, strong, smart woman she has become. I did not pull away quickly from hugs that were given as I often do, and I relished hands placed on the roundness of my belly in hopes of feeling Hayden move. We talked of moments passed and dreams not yet realized and my soul was fed. In the short time that I've known them, David's family has become as much a part of me as my own family. I fit in with them so comfortably that it is almost as if I was never not a part of the family.

Being with David's family only fueled my desire to move closer to my own. What seemed like an impossible task of packing all of our things and driving across the country seems more than possible now. I am ready to be back in Pennsylvania, a landscape that is as familiar to me as my own skin. I am ready to have family that lives almost next door and to spend holidays crowded into my grandma's living room with aunts, uncles, and cousins. I am excited that Erin will get to experience a life like this and that Hayden will not know what it is like to be on our own. He and Erin will be showered with love and affection from so many and David and I will have the support we need as well as be able to offer our help and support. Of course there will be days when I will wonder why we decided to leave California and there may be times when family seems so close that I could suffocate, but I hope that at those times I will look back and remember what it was like to be far away and how much I wanted to be close to them.

A lavender candle sits on the night stand by our bed. It's at least eight years old and there is barely anything left of it. David laughs at me for keeping it, but each time I smell it I am transported to our first apartment. It was a tiny apartment built into a garage with no air condition and no insulation. There was a small kitchen, an even smaller bathroom, a living room which we used as an office, and a bedroom. We spent the first week there cleaning out what the old tenants had left behind. There were beer cans and cigarette buts everywhere. Were it not for the lovely yard lined with rose bushes and complete with a patio with a built in grill and a large tree with a hammock, I might not have made it through the three months we lived there. California summers can be hotter than you might imagine, and with no air it was miserable. During the day I took showers to cool off and at night we slept with ice packs under our necks. Yes, it was really that hot! Our refrigerator was one of those small hotel room refrigerators. There was just enough room for milk and eggs. Everything else stayed in the refrigerator of the lady who owned the place. It was part of the deal David made when he moved out of the room he rented. She was nice enough in the beginning, but perhaps the heat got to her as well. She would leave for weeks at a time leaving us with no way to get to the food we had stored in her refrigerator or any access to the washer and dryer. Each day that we stayed there, we searched for an apartment. What we didn't notice is that what we considered the in-between-time ended up being the time we learned how to live together. We learned the subtle and sometimes not so subtle give and take that is a relationship. In those few months, I learned how to live without my mom and twin sister, and the ups and downs of life outside of my comfort zone. They were three short months, but they taught me so much. The scent of a little purple candle is all it takes to remind me of so much.

The half way mark.

My belly is bigger and my mood less predictable. My mind is no longer the flurry of worry it was in the first trimester. Being able to feel Hayden move has helped.
Erin seems more excited as the days goes by. She checks my belly every day to see if it's grown.
David says good morning and good night to Hayden while rubbing my belly. He's waiting patiently to be able to feel him move.

Gone.


Everything from our hard drive is gone. The computer tech wasn't able to get the damn thing to open. I cried for a little while and then went into recovery mode. Luckily, I do have many of the photos backed up and I just made my mom a copy of all of my photos a little while ago. I called my sister-in-law and she is going to make copies of disks that I've given her, and I'm going to call my father-in-law and get him to do the same. So, all is not lost. I told Erin I was sorry since most of the photos I lost were of her school activities. She shrugged it off like it didn't matter at all, but I know that one day it will matter. That is why I'm determined to get as many photos from everyone else as I can. One day she'll want to remember this time in her life, and photos will help.

Sadness. Our home computer crashed and due to my recent habit of procrastination, many of my photos were not backed up. The pc is at the doctors now, and there is a chance they will be able to recover my precious photographs. With that comes the obvious conclusion that they might not be able to recover them. I could cry!

Goodness. David had I had a day/night all to ourselves. We watched movies and cuddled on the couch. It was bliss. Even better was realizing that, even though it's literally been months since Erin spent the night away, I still missed her like crazy and was beyond happy to have her home again.

Pure Joy. David had a day off. He's only had three of those this month! We used the time to do a little registering for Hayden. Each time we take the next step in preparing for his arrival it all seems a little more real.