Per Cheri's recomendation. :)

Closer and Closer

It's been an eventful day. Early this morning I went to the hospital to have a non-stress test done. My blood pressure was high and the baby wasn't moving so they decided to admit me and and said they would induce labor either tonight or tomorrow morning. Luckily my blood pressure went down and Hayden started moving around. I asked the doctor if induction was really necessary and she said "No, but you are here and you are due in a few days so why not?" I told her I would rather just start labor naturally. I was already having slight contractions and felt like there was no point in speeding up what was already started. She agreed to sending me home and said that if I wanted to start labor naturally she was all for it. Since then, I've been having contractions on and off and they've been increasing in pressure slightly. I think we'll have a baby soon! The hospital bags are packed and ready to go. I'm just waiting for the inevitable moment when the contractions are too much for me to talk through before heading to the hospital.

Please say a prayer for my step-mom, step-sister, and step-grandfather. My step-grandmother passed away unexpectedly today. She had been in the nursing home for rehabilitation on her back and was expected to come home in a few weeks but her heart stopped suddenly today. My step-mom will be taking it the worst because she is a nurse and feels like she should be able to fix everyone.

Thank you!

Bad Boy Ike

Even all the way up here, Ike left his mark. Sunday evening the air grew warm and the winds began to blow. They were gentle at first but soon grew to 45-50 mph and were strong enough to make this Midwestern girl whose been through enough tornadoes to last a lifetime feel anxious. The trees, lit by an amazingly bright full moon, lurched and bent under the winds strong force. A tree fell on the house that sits behind us (luckily only the roof of the house was damaged and the family is safe and sound.), and several limbs and branches littered th road and yards. Worst of all, the power went out at around 8 p.m. on Sunday and was just turned back on. That's two days with nothing and by 4 p.m. today the lack of power had caused the water to stop too.
When we got home from two doctor's appointments today the report we heard was that the power would not be on until Friday. I cringed at the thought! Already the freezer was completely defrosted and what food remained in the refrigerator was ruined. Now they were telling me I would have to exist until the weekend with no water and no power and what little of my sanity was left? I thought my head might explode or more likely I would break down and cry. I gathered what strength I had and put new batteries in the flash lights and Erin and I snuggled in on the couch ready to continue our card game marathon from last night. Just as we pulled out the cards the lights came on. I was so deliriously happy I wanted to cry!
I don't want to get all philosophical over a short power outage when so many have suffered such utter devastation but I can't tell you the hope a little thing like the lights coming on renewed in me. I so easily get caught up and worry over the little things in life that sometimes it takes something like this to snap me out of it. I can worry and obsess about everything and one around me but in the end the only person I can change is me. I get to chose how I view life and what I make of it. I get to decide what makes me angry, sad, or happy. I don't know why I so easily forget this.
So, I am not going to stress over family issues. I am going to enjoy my family in whatever way I can. I'm not going to worry about the money we did have or don't have or will have. I'm going to focus on the many blessings we are already living under. I'm going to stop freaking out every time the doctor sends me for a non-stress test or mentions her thoughts on Hayden's size. I'm going to finish out this pregnancy and enjoy the last few kicks and jabs Hayden gives me before he arrives. I'm also going to read this post tomorrow and the next day and the next so that I don't forget.

We've been here for two months. They've gone by quickly. In my imaginings of life here, I spent many hours outside sipping lemonade and watching the sunset. Reality never quite matches our expectations. I am almost never outside. It's been unusually hot here and the bugs eat me alive! There is no view of the sunset from our house. It's not bad, it's just different and different is okay.
The warm comforting family I loved as a child seems fragmented in a way I can't explain. They are together, but not in the way I remember as a child. Maybe the death of my grandfather has something to do with that. It's hard to be together and not remember him.
I'm hopeful that the holidays will bring us all back around and I'll have some sense of that feeling I had as a kid, pure and utter amazement that I was apart of something so big and so full of love. I'm sure that Hayden's birth will provide much of that feeling too.

Thank you is hardly enough!

Ladies, you are all so thoughtful and caring. Your kind and thoughtful words lit up my day. I am inspired and humbled by the faith that all of you have in me. I've learned so much from each of you and am forever grateful for the community we share here in blogdom. I am looking forward to introducing Hayden to all of you and continuing to share all about my journey into motherhood and beyond as well as continue read about the journey that each of you is on. I truly feel rich for knowing each of you. While it hardly seems like enough, you each have my sincere gratitude for all that you are and all that you give.

Happy Birthday Aola!

You are an amazing woman with a huge heart and the wonderful ability to help me see the simpler side of things. I hope you have an amazing day!

love you!

My Peeps

My Aunt Susie aka Ish, threw me a baby shower yesterday. She did a fabulous job! She decorated the room in a jungle theme with little stuffed animals sitting on the tables and animal party favors. It was so cute! She also made enough food to feed an army and had fun games that didn't involve measuring my ever increasing belly. Whew! I took a few photos, but not nearly as many as I should have. It's hard to be the guest of honor and photographer. Luckily, a friend was there and I think she took more photos than I did. All in all it was a lot of fun. Hayden got a travel system, cradle, clothes, diapers and so much more! Now, I just have to find a place for everything.
Today, it's off to the doctors for my weekly check up and the ultrasound. Anyone wanna guess at how big little man is?

My Aunt Susie, Me, & My Grandma. I'm not sure how I managed to get taller than the two of them!

Too Big Belly

A trip to the doctor today ended in scheduling an ultrasound to see how big the baby is. Apparently the doctor feels that my belly is just a little big and wants to make sure the baby isn't too big. She's the first doctor (there are five of them in the practice.) that has said I'm measuring big. Everyone else says I'm right on track, so it could be just the ways she measured. I'm not really sure what she expects considering I'm all of 5'4 and David is 6'2. I'm not worried about it at all and put very little faith in their ability to determine Hayden's weight based on an ultrasound. It will be nice to see my little guy again. In only a few weeks I'll be seeing him face to face. I can't wait!
The transition from living on two incomes to living on one is difficult. I've never been a big spender, but that was probably because I knew I could spend if I wanted to. Knowing I can't spend makes me desperate to buy anything. Silly brain!
Speaking of frivolous spending, I really want this
I know it's not a necessity, and would only get a few months use, but it's so sweet and I'm imagining the great photos I could take. :)

New blog alert! My friend Jen P. has a new blog! I put a link up on my linky list.

Eight years ago today..

my nephew Paxton (Packy Wacky is what I like to call him.) was born. I was on the phone with my older sister when he was born and got to hear his first cry. I talked to my twin sister, his mom, moments later and we both cried. Since that day, a piece of my heart is always with him. Though small for his age, he is 100% boy. He's full of energy, spunk, and amazing ideas. He loves spider man and wrestling. He also loves his mama and his little sister very much and takes good care of each of them. There isn't a thing I wouldn't do for him. Happy Birthday Paxton. Nana loves you very much!