New York City was amazing! It was exactly what I thought it would be. The energy of the city is cranked up to high even on a lazy Sunday afternoon. We got to our hotel around noon on Sunday. David called his friend, Kimi, and we decided that we would take off and see a few things we wanted to see and then meet up with them for dinner. So we walked two and a half blocks from our hotel on 57th and 9th to Central Park. It's still cold and gray so there wasn't much to see, and we had a limited amount of time. So we did a quick walk around and then headed to Columbus Circle Station where we had our first subway adventure! Figuring the subway out took a little bit of time our first trip. We had to ask several people for directions and what we found is that everyone has their own method of getting around on the subway. It's better if you pick your route and go for it. We took the Subway from Columbus Circle Station down to the 42nd street which lands you right in the middle of Times Square. Hayden loved the subway. He laughed and cooed the entire time. Times Square was as busy as I'd imagined it to be. The streets are full of people and lights. We made our way to Toys-R-Us which was on Erin's list. She wanted to see the Barbie house inside which is life size and full of all things Barbie. She loved it! We spent a little time inside looking at the amazing Lego statues, the huge dinosaur, and the ferris wheel inside the store! Hayden decided it was his nap time so he didn't get to see much of the store. We then headed back out into the throngs of people and took in more of the lights and storefronts. We stopped at a bakery for giant chocolate chip cookies and a brownie before heading to Radio City Music Hall and Rockefeller Center where we watched the ice skating rink and got our tickets to Top of the Rock. St. Patrick's Cathedral was next on our list. The outside of the building is spectacular, but under construction. The inside is jaw dropping beautiful! The organ started playing just as we walked through the doors and I think all three of us had to stop and catch our breath. It was that spectacular! David and Erin dipped their hands in the Holy water and did the sign of the cross. I opted to take photos.
From the cathedral we headed to Little Italy for pizza Lombardi's. Surprisingly, we totally had the hang of the subway and didn't have to ask for directions. Navigating the stairs with a stroller was difficult, and I'm sure we looked like tourist, but we didn't mind. When we go back we'll make sure to bring an umbrella stroller. Little Italy evoked a strange feeling because of the obvious mix of old and new. It was like looking at time staked up layer by layer. We met Kimi, Toni, and their friend Bethany, a native to the city, at Lombardi's and experienced the most delicious New York style pizza! The crust was thin and the ingredients were super fresh! After a long day, Hayden got a little fuzzy, but he had done so well the rest of the day that I could hardly blame him. I hope the others in the restaurant weren't annoyed by our fuzzy little man.
After pizza we headed back to Rockefeller Center to visit Top of the Rock. It's the one place Jen said we had to go, and she was right. The view from the 70th story observation deck was indescribably beautiful! It was around 9 p.m. so we got an amazing view of the city lit up. It was freezing cold, but well worth it. By the time we finished a Top of the Rock, we were all tired and ready to head back to the hotel. So we made one last trip on the subway and walked the streets of NYC at night. We made it back to our room and all collapsed almost immediately.
The next morning we said goodbye to Kimi and Toni who had to leave for Penn Station and their bus back to D.C. We took our time getting ready and then said goodbye to The Big Apple, but we're all sure we want to go back. This was a mini trip to test the water, and we all decided we like our little taste of the city. We had planned to visit the Statue of Liberty, but it was so cold we didn't want to take Hayden out. He would have been miserable.
It was a short trip, but I feel like we experienced quite a bit for just a few hours. I feel like we could visit again and not have any trouble finding our way around. My cousin has already given me some great ideas for our next visit and Bethany welcomed us back to her city anytime. She even said she'd show Erin some of the local skate parks. NYC will see us again.

Happy 6 months Hayden!

His favorites at six months: sweet potatoes, anything that fits into his mouth, his jumperoo, and Erin.

I'm here, spending mountains of time with Hayden. It seems no matter how much time I spend with him or how many pictures and videos I take of him I can't keep up. He's growing so fast I can't catch my breath. As much excitement as I feel over all of the new things he's experiencing and doing, I'm a little sad at how quickly he is growing. I wouldn't want to stop it, but a pause button would be nice.

Erin is still Erin. She's creative, funny, beautiful, and a hormonal mess. Hayden loves her to pieces and so do I. We fight, but we make up quickly. These days she's pretty consumed with boys and friends. She still lets me in, but I have to bite my tongue a lot. She has to test the water for herself. She's stubborn like that.

David is working all the time. He's going to look for a new job as soon as I have surgery. I miss him. We all do. It will be good for him to have a normal schedule.

I saw the first signs of spring on my walk today. It made me so happy inside.

I finally got to work in the yard today. I gathered up all the branches that had fallen and picked up some trash that had blown around. I'm really looking forward to planting a garden. I think I'll keep it to flowers and herbs for my garden here. My grandma and I will be working together in her garden and that's were I plan to have all the fruits and vegetables. I'm looking forward to vine ripe tomatoes.

I'm relieved that we've all survived our first winter here. It wasn't as bad as I thought it was going to be and according to everyone I've talked to this is one over the worst winters in a while. The temperatures did fall pretty low and there is only so much snow a girl can take before she begs for sun, but all in all I think we fared pretty well. I didn't max out the credit card buying a Caribbean vacation or jump in the car and head for Florida though the thought did cross my mind.

I'm looking forward to a lot of back yard bar-b-ques and more time outside. I've got to get the back porch cleaned off and hang Hayden's swing out there so we can enjoy some evenings outside.

My step-sister introduced me to a lovely walking trail that runs parallel to the Allegheny river. It will make a wonderful replacement to the park Erin and I used to visit. Slowly, we are finding our place here.

Truth be told, I'm a little bit of a mess. Setting the date for the surgery freaked me out just a little. I'll have to stop breast feeding which seems unfair after all the work I've put into it. Someone else will be caring for Hayden for a week while I'm in the hospital. I want to stomp my feet and scream "This isn't fair!" like a two-year-old. I'm afraid to ask the cardiologist if he thinks more babies are a good idea. The thought of not being able to have more is breaking my heart. Everyone keeps telling me to be thankful for the two beautiful children I have, and trust me, I am, but Lord help the next person who tells me that! I think I've moved past the shocked, scared phase and am now in the pissed-off-want-to-give-the-world-the-finger phase.

I finally finished Hayden's nursery which brought on an overwhelming set of emotions. I hadn't really been in there for longer than it takes to grab an outfit or put his clothes away since before he was born. There was such a strong feeling of then and now as I finished things up. Then, I had no idea any of this would happen. I was in my own little happy world imagining all the things soon-to-be-moms get to imagine. Now, I want to run back and tell that girl to brace herself so this doesn't blindside her. I want to tell her not to take even one second of her pregnancy for granted because this may be the only chance she gets.


The worst part is that I feel completely guilty for feeling like this. I know that there are others with far worse problems and more significant things going on in their lives. Yet here I am whining and moaning. Typically, I'm not the one to throw a pity party for myself. Allowing myself to see this side of me is completely uncomfortable.

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Holy crap I actually hit the "publish post" button. I've been writing and deleting this same post for about two weeks now.

I've been avoiding blogging. The thoughts that are running through my head right now resemble bland mushy oatmeal. No one wants to read that. Maybe seeing something pretty will make up for the absence of words.