Tuesday, June 05, 2007

A Time To Heal

David's family has a beautiful tradition of being cremated and then planting a tree with the ashes. For Pam we planted an Austrian Pine complete with an "Elvis Parking Only" sign above it. There was no service in the traditional sense. We gathered around as the tree was planted and shared our favorite Pam memories. We laughed. We cried. We remembered. I created a slide show presentation of Pam's pictures that we watched together. We laughed, cried, and remembered some more. We ate chocolate, drank apple pie, and ate a little more chocolate. We finished the family cook book, a project Pam started and never got to finish. My heart was full as I opened one of the cook books and realized it was one she had made for me, the last thing she made for me. Most importantly, we all stopped to acknowledge that there is a Pam shaped hole in all of our hearts that will never be filled.

4 comments:

Elaine said...

I am finding out that we have to learn how to live with the pain of the losses in our lives...

Sandra said...

so true

cv said...

That is an absolutely wonderful tradition.

I am glad that the people who love Pam and will miss her the most could remember the special things about her with joy and create a start of softness around the rough edges of loss. Comforting each other I think is just such an important part of healing.

McMom's husband just lost his grandfather (you can see him if you link to Family Blog via mine). Last year I met this remarkable man. Last week I was able to comfort his grandson a bit by sharing some common memories and some wisdom that I know he would have wanted to have pass on.

We are all in this together.

I hope the sharpness of the loss mellows a bit into fond memories. Nothing can take all the pain, but the joy she brought you is her gift she left for you.

Kristen said...

That is really neat. I'm glad it was a special time.