Happy Birthday Grandma!

My grandma now..


and then.

Today is my grandmas birthday. She is such a beautiful woman and has always been so loving towards me. I remember spending spring break with her every year. We would go on walks and pick up cans. She also taught me how to paint and fire ceramics and for a while she was my Sunday school teacher. I love her so much and wish I could be there to spend this special day with her. I called her to wish her a happy birthday and she sounded very happy. She said she was just playing games on the computer.

Happy Birthday Grandma!

Family and food, is there any better combination? Twenty-one of us gathered in the recreation hall of my grandma's church to celebrate Christmas today. It was wonderful to see my aunts, uncles, and cousins again. I love being with family. Family grounds me and reminds me that I'm a part of something much bigger. This side of my family is very connected to their heritage. My grandma can tell stories of her great-great-grandparents and because she and my grandfather were married when she was very young she tells stories of his side of the family too. It's nice to feel, see, hear, and taste that kind of history. Mostly it's nice to be with people who love me and one another fully. Erin played games with her cousins. I'm glad she was able to connect with them so quickly. David left early so he could get some sleep before going to work this evening. Hayden and I sat and talked and soaked up all of the goodness. He stole everyone's heart with his blue eyes and cute coo's.

I should have thought about the effect changes in temperature have on my joints before moving here. Since I was about 5 years old, my joints ache when a cold front moves in or if there is going to be any rain. I went to several doctors when I was younger. One said it was a calcium deficiency and another said growing pains. Whatever the cause nothing has ever made the pain go away. I just pop a few ibuprofen and if the pain is really bad I take a nice hot bath. That always does the trick. Maybe I should buy stock in ibuprofen.

Hayden is growing so fast! He has already rolled over while lying on our bed and is very close to rolling over while playing on his floor mat. He loves to hold his head up and look around, and he is a master conversationalist if you speak cooanese. He has also learned the fine art of placing any object his is lucky enough to get in his hands into his mouth. He always giggles when he manages to aim his hands for his mouth and hits the target.

Erin is very excited about Christmas break and is begging us to let her go to the Snowflake dance in January. It's going to take massive amounts of convincing to get her father to okay that.

My grandmother fell while walking down the ramp at her house yesterday. She broke her arm and two ribs. When she called me to tell me she had just gotten home from the ER and was already icing cookies she had baked before she fell. I'm going over to her house tomorrow to help her finish baking the last of the cookies she's making for a big order. She can talk with Hayden while I do all the work.

Me, well I'm hanging in there. My mind is a mess with all the things I want to and need to be doing, but all I seem to find time for is taking care of Erin, Hayden, the dogs, the cats, and the house. I'm in desperate need of a pedicure and if someone could do something with this hair I would so appreciate it! I made the mistake of coloring it red, and I should have known better. Red always fades very quickly and for some reason anytime I color my hair darker than it's normal shade it ends up feeling oily and having no volume regardless of the type of products I use. Crazy hair!

I Believe

The following image and e-mail comments were taken from PostSecret.



-----Email Message-----
Sent: Sunday, December 14, 2008 5:18 AM
Subject: timecard you're not alone

My son just wrote Santa last night asking for that special present and I didn't have the heart to tell him that "Santa's" back injury has kept HER from waiting tables the past two weeks .

my secret:
I wish Santa Claus was real so on Christmas no child would have to go without and no parent would have to feel like they failed there child.

-Amber (with permission)


-----Email Message-----
Sent: Monday, December 15, 2008 12:11 AM
Subject: re: timecard you're not alone

I know I cannot do this for every child out there, but if you would tell her that there is someone out there willing to try and buy their son that gift, then I would appreciate it very much.

I am a college student with a limited budget, but it would be a lovely Christmas present for me if I were able to put a smile on the faces of two strangers on Christmas morning.


-----Email Message
Sent: Sunday, December 14, 2008 11:53 PM
Subject: RE: timecard you're not alone

First off let me tell you how thankful I am to you and your wonderful offer. I was not in anyway expecting any sort of help I just wanted to let this person know they were not alone.

Gratefully yours,
-Amber

[Frank's Note:] (I asked Amber to set-up a PayPal account using this email address for those of us wanting to help.)
(PayPal Account information removed, as per Ameber's request.)


-----Email Message-----
Sent: Monday, December 15, 2008 4:05 PM
Subject: extra credit good karma AMBER

I made a donation and I was surprised at how good it felt. One does not have to be a millionaire to feel the joy of being generous.


-----Email Message-----
Sent: Monday, December 15, 2008 5:04 PM
Subject: RE: timecard you're not alone

Frank,

Santa Claus is real and is alive and well. He lives in you and others like you all over the world. I am overwhelmed by the love and generosity strangers have shown my family today. I never would have imagined it would get as large a response in such little time as it has. Not only will I be able to afford the present he asked for but clothes and other necessities I had been putting off.

At this time I am asking that you remove my paypal account from postsecret and I urge anyone else who wants to help someone in need to get into contact with their local community action centers.

Thank you for making my wish come true,
-Amber

ps I will send pictures of christmas morning!


One of the recent Advent readings from "Watch For The Light" talked about giving. To sum it up, the writer said that our giving at Christmas time was a way of saying we were self-sufficient and more of a boost to our own ego than anything else. I disagree. Sometimes people give because making another person happy makes us happy. Sometimes we give because we understand that the meaning of all of this is to love one another in whatever way we can. It could be a smile given to a person we pass on the street, or time spent with someone who is alone or feeling lonely, or it could be money sent to the account of a mom who needed a way to help her son see that Santa is real he just doesn't always show up in a red suit with a white beard. Sometimes he shows up as a college student.

Today's Advent reading

This is an excerpt from today's Advent reading in "Watch for the Light". For the entire story go here.

The God We Hardly Knew by William Willimon



....This is often the way God loves us: with gifts we thought we didn’t need, which transform us into people we don’t necessarily want to be. With our advanced degrees, armies, government programs, material comforts and self-fulfillment techniques, we assume that religion is about giving a little, of our power in order to confirm to ourselves that we are indeed as self-sufficient as we claim.

Then this stranger comes to us, blesses us with a gift, and calls us to see ourselves as we are -- empty-handed recipients of a gracious God who, rather than leave us to our own devices, gave us a baby.

Big Santa, Little Santa, & a few elf's too!

We had a yummy breakfast with Santa and Mrs. Claus today. Hayden and Erin each got a gift and a huge box full of candy. Hayden decided he liked Santa, but wasn't to happy with Mrs. Claus. Erin actually smiled in a photo and pretended not to hate me for a few hours. It was very nice! :)

Tis the season!

We have an eight foot blow-up lighted Santa in our yard along with a tree of lights (Thank you dad!). We still have to put the lights on the bushes and finish decorating our tree, but at least we've started decorating. This is the first time we've been able to decorate outside and it's fun. I love Christmas lights. They take away a little of the gloom from the grey days that are upon us.

I'm really excited about Christmas this year. We have very little extra money so the stress of buying gifts isn't there. I hadn't realized how out of hand our Christmas's had gotten until now. It's ridiculous the pressure I put on myself to buy gifts and spend $$. That isn't what this season is about at all. I'm sorry it took this to make me see. When I was growing up we never had much money for Christmas. My mom was a single mom with three children to support. I never realized we got less than anyone else. In fact, I thought we were pretty lucky because I knew there were others who got much less. One of our Christmas traditions was to buy a gift for one of the kids on the Angel tree and we also volunteered at the Salvation Army. My job was always picking out the gifts to go with wish lists kids had created. I always took my time picking out what I hoped would be the perfect gift. One year there was a family who lived down the street from us. It was a father and his two sons. My sisters and I became friends with the boys and when my mom suggested that we buy them gifts for Christmas we were very excited! We bought each boy a gift and several gifts for the whole family. We delivered them to the family on Christmas morning and the boys were so happy. I don't think they had any other gifts. Christmas always felt full when I was a kid. As an adult I searched and searched for that fullness, but couldn't find it. I was always trying to outdo whatever gift I bought for people the year before and that only leads to frustration.
The problem with using things to fill you up is that you have to buy more and more things to do the trick. This year circumstances beyond my control are forcing me to step out of that cycle. I'm finding more creative ways to show friends and family how much they mean to me, and I can feel that full feeling again.

Things with my insurance are finally worked out so I'll be calling my cardiologist and surgeon tomorrow to reschedule the appointments I missed in October. I can't say that I'm looking forward to meeting with them. My blood pressure doesn't seem to be regulating beyond what it did the first few weeks I was home. In fact a few nights ago it went crazy and was 135/104. It scared me a little. I took my medicine and it went back down. I just hate having to be on medications to keep it normal. My hope is that I'll be able to put off the surgery until spring. From what I've read while researching ASD's and open heart surgery many patients go through a phase of depression after the surgery. I think I'll have a better chance of keeping my spirits up if the sun is out and flowers are blooming. I also don't want to have to brave the wintry roads to travel back and forth to Pittsburgh for appointments.

For Advent

Pam, it's been two years since you left us though it hardly seems that long. How do the days add up so quickly? So much has changed since you left us and so much remains the same. There is a new addition to our family. Hayden is the baby you kept begging us to have. He looks just like David but I like to think there is a little of me in there somewhere. When I think about him not ever getting to meet his granny Pam my heart breaks. I know how happy our having a baby would have made you. I'm sorry we didn't do it sooner so that you could enjoy him too.
We finally made that big move we always talked about, the one you were sure we would never make. It's a lot like Oregon here. You would love it.
The one thing that will never change is how much we miss you. It's easier than it was. I go days at a time without thinking about you, but you are always there in the back of my mind. I hear Elvis on the radio or see a scrapbook page or card you made for us and that is all it takes for the memories to flood in. I hope that wherever you are now you are happy and at peace. If everything I believe about life after death is true, you are.

The video I made for Pam's memorial. Long and boring to anyone but me. :)

2 months post partum

and my abs are like jello! I had no idea a c-section could reap such havoc on the ab muscles. Obviously if you think about it it makes perfect sense, but I never planed on a c-section and so never gave it much thought. The first few days in the hospital were the worst. I couldn't lift myself up out of the bed without help. The morphine and magnesium might have had a little do do with that. :) Recently I've noticed that sitting up in bed is still a little difficult. Tonight I put my abs to the test with some stability ball work and crunches and the verdict is in. They are still here, but just barely hanging on. I pushed myself as hard as I could and was able to complete about half the number of crunches I was able to do before I got pregnant. That is not acceptable! I immediately youtubed some ab workouts and will be doing them every other day until my abs return full force! I also have a gazillion stretch marks despite using belly butter every day during pregnancy. The strange thing is that I have way more now than I did when I was pregnant. I don't understand that, but there isn't much I can do about them so I'm not going to worry about them. On a happy note something about pregnancy made my butt disappear. David was the first to notice. Go figure! It also helps that we have two sets of stairs to go up and down. Our wood burning stove is in the basement so I have to traipse up and down the stairs every 2-3 hours to put wood in the fire. Our washer and dryer are also down there so I make the trip for laundry too.
It may seem odd to be thinking healthy before Thanksgiving. I'm not saying I'll be avoiding the pumpkin pie or anything. I just want to get a jump start on those resolutions I know I'll be making and I had to wait the 6 weeks after delivery and get the okay from the doctors before I did anything too physical. The doctor gave me the go so I'm going for it.

Things I'm missing/Things I'm grateful for.

Missing:

Being pregnant. I know it sounds crazy to almost everyone, but I really miss being pregnant. Perhaps it's the way my pregnancy ended that has me wanting to do it again or maybe it's the thought of not being able do it again. Whatever the reason it is completely crazy and not crazy all at once. Hayden is so beautiful and amazing. Who wouldn't want another one?

California. I knew it would happen eventually. I'd give anything to be able to drive to the beach.

Our Holiday Traditions. It turns out that all the things I thought we were doing just to bide our time while in California became deep and meaningful traditions. The sad part is, I didn't realize this until I wasn't able to do them. The annual tree lighting festival where we saw Santa and sipped warm apple cider, Christmas in the Park, the Festival of Lights, and our Thanksgiving with friends will all be missed this year. Their true meaning is suddenly more clear to me than ever.

Starbucks. The coffee and chocolate Cherri sent me helped, but nothing compares to a hot peppermint mocha.


Things I'm grateful for.

Family those we are close to and those that are far away. It will be wonderful to spend this Thanksgiving with so many aunts, uncles, and cousins. We are all squeezing into my grandma's tiny house.

A wood burning stove. Gas warms the house faster, but nothing beats the smell of a fire!

Snow. I'm sure I'll be sick of it soon, but for now the blanket of white covering everything is new and beautiful.

Quiet. California was almost never quiet. We lived on a busy street and the car noise was so loud I could barely sleep. Cars almost never pass our house at night now. Quiet is a beautiful thing.

10 items for $10 or less!

These days I'm loving searching Etsy for beautiful unique Christmas gift ideas. Our budget isn't big, but I love to give and the handmade goods on Etsy provide an affordable yet meaningful way to give while supporting fellow handmade artisans. Plus it's just exciting to see what others are making.

The following is my list of interesting, pretty, and/or yummy gifts for under $10!

Asian Floral -- Mighty Mini Pouch $5.00



Sun and Moon Mason Jar Night Light

Currently sold out :( but still really neat!





Chocolate Brown Sequined Scarf $10.00



Jasmine Scented Handmade Caramels $10




Live Beautiful JOURNAL My Mind's Eye $8.00





Pick 3 Marshmallow Sampler Packs $9.00
This seller has a fun blog too!

Simple Wire Ring $10.00

Whipped Cinnamon Toasted Brown Sugar Scrub 4 oz $7.00

Pistachio Coin Purse $8.00

green aventurine cube earrings $10.00

And if you have some extra cash to spare this holiday season take a look at this "little" gem.

4.50 carats LARGE Diamond solitaire engagement ring new $71,500.00

I'm in need of a new hairstyle. Anyone have any ideas? My hair is a little above my shoulders right now and I'd love something cute and sassy, but easy to take care of since my little guy doesn't allow for too much primping.

He's the cutest little guy ever and he's growing so fast!

Some highlights from the past few weeks:

*He and I dance every day. I hold him close and we sway to It's A Beautiful Life by Fisher which I posted a few posts ago. Call me crazy but I think he knows it is our dancing song. One of the commercials that plays it came on while he was in his play pen getting ready for a nap and he started laughing and cooing like crazy!

*I was watching a Little Einstein video on the computer and two little owls hooted and he cooed back at them.

*He loves having his butt massaged after a bath. He smiles and laughs while I do it.

*I've been peed on once. That's pretty good from what I hear.

*He loves bath time and is now using his little bath without the frog holder that he needed when we first brought him home.

*He hates the car seat and cries every time we put him in it.

*The doctor thinks he'll have a few teeth by 3 months! He already has little teeth buds! YIKES! He's trying to keep up with Alyssa I guess! :)

Wanna win this printer?

I know I do! For three chances to win, head on over to Simple Mom

Thank you Kelli for the heads up!!

While you are over there check out all the amazing advise she has to offer! I was especially inspired by Menu Planning and 12 weeks to an enjoyable Christmas, but there are a ton of other really great posts! Stop waisting time reading this. Go check her out!

The weather is turning cold here. The few leaves that have managed to cling to the trees are withered and gray, and it is dark by 5 o'clock. Already, I'm wondering if I will survive winter without pulling my hair out or worse gaining an obscene amount of weight. Maybe that isn't worse I'm pretty used to be fat, but I've never been bald. Luckily I have Hayden to occupy my time and he's a great occupier. I've dubbed him "Little Tyrant". It's his way or the highway. I wonder if he knows he has competition for the title. Erin is quite the little tyrant these days as well. It's a good thing I love them both to pieces!

In random news, I managed to pump a full ounce today! To me this is akin to winning the lottery! I've been taking brewers yeast, More Milk, and eating tons of oatmeal along with pumping like crazy just be able to pump that much! Hayden is getting more than that when he breast feeds, but not much more. I still have to supplement every feeding with a bottle, but seeing progress motivates me to soldier on.

I went to an arts and crafts show with my Aunt on Thursday. It was so much fun. The towns around here do things a little differently. Instead of going to a big hall full of booths, the artist open up their homes and you meet them where they live. We picked up a map from the local bank and hopscotched our way from one house to the next sipping apple cider and drooling over crafts. I picked up a few Christmas gifts and enjoyed spending time with my Aunt. It feels strange to be all grown up around her.

Hayden had is one month doctor's visit on Friday and the little man has grown to a whopping 11lbs 9oz and 23 1/2 inches! There is no stopping the little tape worm as David refers to him. He's also entered the oh-so-cute stage of coos and smiles! While laying half naked on the examination table he decided to kick his little legs like mad and he and I had a coo off. He cooed and then I cooed then he cooed and I cooed. You get the picture right? The whole thing ended in him letting out a loud baby laugh which was almost immediately followed by baby cries when they gave him his shot. Poor baby! Luckily the crying didn't last long. He ate a little which was probably more about comfort than huger and then he went off to dream land.

In all my spare time AKA when David is home and willing to watch Hayden for a few hours I managed to make this purse.


What do you think? I'm pretty impressed with myself. :)

I want to listen to this song every day! Maybe that will get me through the cold winter days! If you watch TLC like I do, you've heard it a million times already. :)

I watched Barack give his acceptance speech while Hayden smiled and cooed in my arms. Despite my apathy over the current political climate, I couldn't help but be moved by the magnitude of this historic event.
I did not vote in yesterday's election. There was a glitch in the system and my registration was not received. If I had voted, it would have been a half hearted effort at fulfilling my civic duty rather than a full fledge attempt to support one candidate over another. Rather than stirred and inspired by either of the candidates I was angered and frustrated by a political system gone crazy, but last night as I listened to Barack humbly accept victory and McCain graciously admit defeat I wanted to believe. For the first time since the campaign began I saw in each of these men what I believed to be a genuine love for our country and the people in it. For the first time in a long time I felt the warmth of knowing that whatever makes us different isn't nearly as important as what we have in common.
I was listening as McCain spoke of crossing party lines to work with and support Obama in his presidency. I heard Barack as he promised to earn the trust of those who did not vote for him and to be the president of us all. I heard and now I am watching and waiting. I hope that the words each of them spoke will ring true.

A Grandma Shower For Aola

Tons of love for Aola!
From Kristen
From Cara


Zoe (Peanut) will be here soon, and there is no better way for us to celebrate her arrival than by throwing a virtual shower for you, Aola!

Zoe is one lucky girl to have such a wise and loving grandma living so close by. She will be spoiled with all things pink and frilly, but more importantly she'll be given the room she needs to be herself.

"Nobody can do for little children what grandparents do. Grandparents sort of sprinkle stardust over the lives of little children." ~Alex Haley



A little something just for grandma!



A warm snuggly blanket for Zoe.


Something for the two of you to share!



Congratulations Aola!

Levi & Christi, I am so excited for the two of you. Your new little girl will change your lives in ways you never imagined. Babies are hard work, but they are worth every bit of it. Enjoy every second!

It's snowing here. The sky is filled with fluffy white flakes. Erin is beside herself in anticipation of playing in it, but despite her eagerness, it's not sticking. The ground isn't warm enough yet, but in time it will be. I hope we knew what we were getting ourselves into when we abandoned the sunny warm winters of California for the chilly white ones of Pennsylvania.
I took some new photos of Erin yesterday. I wanted to make sure she wasn't feeling left out with all of the photos of Hayden I've been taking. I also wanted to try out an umbrella light I got. I think the results were pretty good. My mom has been telling me for a while now that I need to venture into the professional side of photography, but I'm just not sure. It seems I always doubt myself when it comes to this type of thing. I'm going to give it a try and see what comes of it. At the very least I'll get a little more practice and I'll be doing something I love.