Scrapbook Therapy

I'm spending most of my time resting and recovering from a nasty cold. I've done a whole lot of nothing the last two days and plan on continuing that routine until I have to return to work. In the mean time, I hope to get a little scrapbooking done. I finished these two layouts today.


Looking through all the old family Christmas pictures brought back so many memories. All of the memories I have of my family before my parents divorced are good. I'm not sure if I was just too young to remember anything bad happening or if it really was the bliss I remember. Looking through the photos of the smiling faces always makes me wonder what might have been if my parents had stayed together. Perhaps it would have been worse, maybe it would have been better. I guess it's pointless to wonder, but it's just one of those things I think about occasionally.

From our family to yours,

Click on Me!

Merry Christmas everyone!

Christmas so soon?!?

I'm not ready for Christmas yet! I had such big plans, and each of them went awry. I designed the cutest Christmas tree greeting cards that I wanted to send out to everyone, but couldn't find the time to make them.
Today I found this project by Kelly Brayan and am wishing I had just a few more weeks before Christmas to whip some up for the grand parents.

I also had the big idea of making a family clander to send out, but I am all out of energy. I woke up yesterday morning with a sore throat and throbing head, but still had to go to work. I still have some shopping to do and am hoping I'll have the energy to do some baking. It can't be Christmas without my favorite Cranberry Apple Bread!
Erin and I did manage to put together little gift bags for most of the family and some friends. Unfortunantly I didn't get any pictures of them.
On a happy note, today is our last day of school for two weeks! We are a tiny bit behind, but we'll catch up when we start again. I'm also on vacation next week and am looking forward to doing a whole lot of nothing!
Despite the cold and fatigue, I can't help but feel grateful for this beautiful life. I have a wonderful husband, beautiful daughter, an extended family that loves me, and a group of friends that make a girl feel truly special.

Two nights ago I sat on the couch crying buckets, telling David I wanted to send Erin to public school because I'm not good enough to home school her and moaning about the house work piling up and the laundry that won't stop appearing out of no were. I sobbed that no one was taking care of me. Poor David looked at me like a deer caught it headlights. What can I do to make it better, he asked. Give me a list. I'll do whatever it takes.

This is what happens when I don't take/make time for me. When I allow my days to fill up with schooling and laundry and forget that I am not a robot. I can go on like that for weeks at a time, but always there comes the crash at the end. I'm searching for ways to break the cycle. Perhaps it will require making a list which is something I've never wanted to do because no one is making me a list, but if that is what he needs to help me out so that I don't become wifemom robot #32157, then I will make the list.

Proving it to myself.

I'm meeting with my friends again today to do an additional photo shoot. I was not happy with the shots from the last one. As practice, I took Erin out yesterday. Granted, she's beautiful which makes getting a good shot super easy, but I did expirament quite a bit. Overall I took about 200 shots and walked away with twenty or so that are "keepers". Here are just a few. I'd love your thoughts/opinions.

Happy Birthday Grandpa!

Today is my grandpa's 90th birthday. If you'd like, hop on over to his site and give him a great big birthday wish. While you're at it, send him some get well thoughts too. I called him this morning and he's got a nasty sounding cold.
I've said before how amazing my grandpa is, and I'll say it again. He's one of the nicest, kindest, most soft hearted men I've ever met. He taught me so much about life that I know I am who I am because of his influences.
So, here's to you grandpa! Have a happy birthday and I hope you feel better very soon! I love you!

Tonight I'm remembering the Christmases of my childhood. Aunts and uncles, cousins and siblings gathered at my grandparents house to open presents, eat, and while the adults watched football, my sisters and I would head outside to explore the country always with grandpa's BB gun in hand. We would usually spend the night which required us to help grandma pull out all of the blankets and build a pallet on the living room floor. Before bed we would play games like Skipbo, Pick Up Sticks, and Bejeweled with grandma and grandpa. I will be missing that this year, as I miss it every year.

"The meaning of Advent and Christmas is thus the coming down of God's love. This love alone revolutionizes our lives. Only God's love, not the elevation of human souls, can effect a transformation of the world. Those who mourn the futility of their own efforts receive the comfort of the love of God. Those who are meekly obedient to his will are filled by the love of God, not as a prize to be won after death, but as redeemed life for this earth."
I recommend reading the entire essay which can be found here.
Taken from Yielding to God by Philip Britts as found in "Watch for the Light: Readings for Advent and Christmas"

Long and Eventfull

The day started with Erin and I arguing. Lately, our days begin like this. She loves to question and argue. When she is older, I will probably love debating topics with her, but for now it's annoying. We always manage to get through it and she always apologizes in the end, even if I have to make her. :O) After arguing and school work we went to lunch with a friend. The friend we went to lunch with is a super sweet lady who happens to have MS. She's been asking me to go to lunch or coffee for a while now and I just never did it. Finally today we went and Erin got to meet her. Erin was so helpful! She got her drink and her order for her and helped her walk to the car when we left. It was a side of Erin I don't often see. It gave me the tiniest spark of hope that some of what I am trying to teach her about being kind and generous is seeping through.
After lunch we went Christmas shopping for my niece and nephew. I just can't resist buying them new clothes. Normally, I would want to be the super fun, buy the coolest toy aunt, but not for these two. They love getting clothes way more than they enjoy getting toys. They are both very particular about what they wear and always make sure their outfits match. It makes clothes shopping for them so much fun.
After shopping, it was off to Home Depot for the Christmas tree. We found the perfect one and will set it up and decorate tomorrow.
The day ended with us making the cutest little snow men out of tube socks! I found the idea last week and knew I had to make them. I'll post pictures tomorrow.

Like a Virgin

Again this Advent I am reading "Watch For the Light". Today's reading was "To Be Virgin" by Loretta Ross-Gotta.
The intensity and strain that many of us bring to Christmas must suggest to some onlookers that, on the whole, Christians do not seem to have gotten the point of it. Probably few of us have the faith or the nerve to tamper with the hallowed Christmas traditions on a large scale, or with our other holiday celebrations. But a small experiment might prove interesting. What if, instead of doing something, we were to be something special! Be a womb. Be a dwelling for God. Be surprised.
I identify with this, the last paragraph, not because I have been able to be a womb and be satisfied with just the being, but because I have been guilty of the doing. I mistakenly assume that without the tree and gifts, carols and lights, and even the reading of this Advent book, Christmas will have no meaning. I search for meaning in what I can bring to Christmas forgetting that Christmas is about what God brought to us. My prayer this Advent season is that I will make room for that gift and that I will let that be enough.

Just A Few

The photo shoot when fairly well. It was freezing cold (go figure) and windy. Trying to keep a just-over-one-year-old focused on a camera is extremely difficult. I took over 300 photos to get a handful that I think will pass. I don't know if I am just too critical or what. The lens I used for most of the shoot is a piece of crap and will be sold on ebay or maybe not, I'm trying to decide if I want to burden anyone else with it. I'm scouring Amazon for a better zoom lens now.
For some reason the second I am put on the spot I forget everything I know about photography (not that I know all that much.) Several of the photos were ruined because I forgot to put on the hood and others were runied because I wasn't watching the light meter! That's basic photography! It's like my brain turns to jello or something. It's completely frustrating!
I'll stop with the frustrated rambling, here are a few photos from the shoot. Honest opinions are always appreciated.


I love the concept of this one with the parents on the bench and the baby sitting in front of them. Execution wise, it needs some work.


I love the candid faces in this one, and the baby turning away from the camera was reality in almost every picture. I swear he knew I wanted a picture and was determined not to give me the chance to take it!






A family on a hay bail, what's not to love? :)


A little nose picking is okay for the Christmas portrait right?

Me, vintage?

I'm browsing through vintage paper selections on Ebay when I see a title that reads something like "Vintage Paper Doll Kit (1979)". I did a double take and let out a huge I-don't-believe-what-I've-just-read gasp! According to that title, I (at the ripe old age of 28) am vintage which means either I am characterized by enduring appeal or I'm outmoded. I certainly hope it's the latter though I do feel the tiniest bit outmoded when around anyone more that four years younger than me. (What do you mean you don't know what a Walkman is?)

It's only the middle of the week and yet weekend plans abound. This time of year brings out the extrovert in me. Erin and I will be going to Ardenwood Farm on Saturday where I will be doing my first official family photo shoot with my friend Gina and her family. I am beyond nervous! It's not a paying gig or anything, but just to know that someone is expecting something scares me! If we can walk away with a dozen quality shots I'll be relieved.

On Saturday I'm waking the family up bright and early to go to the San Jose Christmas Parade. We went last year and absolutely loved it! Afterwards will hang out at Christmas in the Park and look at all the wonderful displays while we sip hot cocoa and pretend it's cold outside. We might even try out ice skating, but I'm not making any promises.

The one small thing that might throw a wrinkle in my pristine plans is the nasty cold that snuck up on me Monday. My head is full of yuckiness and my nose won't stop dripping.

My darling daughter is thrilled that I finally signed her up for piano lessons. Prodigy that she is, she has been teaching herself using YouTube. She looks up videos of people playing a song and then watches it over and over until she can play it. She's been dedicated to learning this way for a month now which is more than enough to prove to me that she'll stick with the lessons. The last thing I want is to have to fight her to get her to go to another lesson which is exactly what happened when I signed her up for the gymnastic lessons she just had to have. I'm really excited for her and am looking forward to seeing her progress.

We met with Erin's teacher last Monday, and I am feeling significantly better about homeschooling. I was completely unprepared for the meeting, but her teacher seemed to expect that. He said that the first meeting is usually the hardest, but now I'll know what to expect for the next one. We hadn't been putting the date on her work which was a tiny problem, but something we can easily correct for our next meeting. Erin did really well on a math test he gave her which boosted her confidence and mine. Her teacher also gave me some helpful advice for getting Erin to work on her own. Recently she hasn't wanted to do a single lesson if I am not sitting right beside her doing it too. He recommended that she do at least 30 minutes of independent work daily. Having him back me up on the issue has made it so much easier to get Erin to do it.

It is just past five o'clock and already the last rays of sun have slipped behind the mountains. I do no like the shortness of these days or the chill they bring with them. I can not wait for daylight to unfold and stretch its self out again.

The pumpkin swirl cheese cake is chilling in the refrigerator, the cinnamon rolls and double chocolate chip cookies are only a thought, but I've got the rest of the day to make them reality.
I'm looking forward to tomorrow morning. We'll all sleep in and wake to warm gooey cinnamon rolls (They are a tradition weather David and Erin eat them or not!) and of course the Macy's Thanksgiving Day parade. Thanksgiving is undeniably my favorite holiday.
A part of me will be missing Pam severely. She would have enjoyed the cinnamon rolls. In fact, she would have insisted that I make a batch just for her.

Forget the diamonds. Give me music!

Tivo is an amazing invention. It allows us to effortlessly skip through the endless barrage of "you must buy this now" advertisements that clog up the air waves. Typically we record our shows just to have this luxury. But, I have to admit, I am a sucker for the beauty and whimsy of De Beers commercials. When I am in control of the remote, which is almost never, I stop for them. Luckily, I was in control today and was able to stop for the latest De Beers Journey Diamond commercial. It's a good thing I did. Otherwise, I might not have heard this song by Landon Pigg. It's perfect and beautiful and it makes me want to slow dance under a full moon in Paris. I love stumbling across good music like this.

On this day seven years ago in a little garden littered with crisp fall leaves, I followed the path that led to him and never looked back. He waited handsome and smiling, nerves knotted in his throat. My breath caught when I saw him. In that moment there was only us. The brisk autumn air played witness as we promised to love, to honor, to cherish. On each of these he has made good. There are days when I don't even want to be alone with me and still he is there to comfort and to love me in the way that only he knows how. He spoils me with his love and I let him without feeling guilty.

My Grandpa

I have one of the coolest grandpa's in the world! (My grandma is pretty great too!) If you don't believe me, check out his blog. He's put some interesting pictures of his computer art work up. He used to make tons of these and send them out to us. Here are just two examples of the many he's sent me. I keep them all in a file on my computer along with the poetry and stories he's sent me.



When my sisters and I were young my grandpa was a very important part of our lives and he still is. He was always there to encourage me when I needed it and was the father figure I needed when my dad wasn't around. (Not to say that my dad wasn't a good father, he was. He just lived 2000 miles away.) In the sixth grade, I started playing the clarinet. My grandfather was so proud of every accomplishment I made while playing. He came to every concert and many of the parades to watch me play. He even made a deal with me that he would buy a me a new clarinet if I practiced and worked hard. I kept up with my end of the bargain, and so did he. Near the end of my 7th grade year he took me to the local music shop and bought me a wonderful wood clarinet which I still have to this day. I stayed in band all through high school and still play today. Knowing my grandpa would be there cheering me on helped me to stick to it even when it got hard and I wanted to give up.

There are many other examples of my grandfathers love throughout my life. When I left Oklahoma for California, he called me to tell me how much he loved me and thanked me for all the wonderful memories and smiles. At the time I thought he might have been being a little dramatic, but now I can see that he understood that once I left things would never be the same. I don't get to see my grandparents nearly as much as I would like, but I think we are still really close. This last visit with them was wonderful. It was great to see them in their new home, and finally out of the apartment they had been couped up in. I made a promise to them and myself that it would not be as long between this trip and the next before I see them again.

I'm so proud of my grandpa for braving the World Wide Web, for conquering e-mail and chat programs as well as blogger. Knowing that I can chat with him via e-mail at any time is such a blessing. It makes the distance between us seems so much smaller. Of course, it doesn't compare to a real life hug, so I'll have to make sure to keep my promise and visit him often.

What a week. I am certainly glad that today is my Friday. It's also the start of a four day weekend. I couldn't be happier. This Monday is our seven year anniversary. It seems crazy to be writing "seven" in there. Erin and I were looking through pictures last night and I could see the years pass by as we flipped through the photo album, but I can't feel the years. They've gone by so fast, faster than I ever imagined they would. They've been beautiful years, and I'm glad they only mark the beginning.
I'm not sure what we will do with our weekend. We have a birthday part for our niece to attend, but other than that it's all up in the air. I'd like to go to an old red barn antique store we've driven by a few times and the Monarch butterflies are visiting
Natural Bridges State Park and I'd love to go and see them. I'll have to check the weather because it's supposed to rain. Mostly, I'm looking forward to four days of not having to think about work.
Last night I bought a table and chairs on a whim. It's a beautiful old wood table that I want to paint black. I'd also like to recover the seats. I'm going to search for the perfect fabric this weekend.

In other news, I've been working on these pendants for my etsy shop. I'm still no where close to selling them, but I wanted to show off what I've been working on. I meant to take pictures of the first dozen I made that were completely atrocious. Who knew soldering could be so difficult to master? It's been fun, and I'm really enjoying working on them. Hopefully I'll refine my technique soon and be able to offer them in the shop before Christmas.

A few days ago, I was featured on Today's Creative Blog The brain child of Kim from Scrap-To-My-Lu. First of all, to even be mentioned on her site for the slightest of reasons is nothing I take lightly. I've only been reading her blogs since Shawn mentioned her a few weeks back, but let me tell you this site is packed full of creative yumminess. It only took a little Flickr exploring to find out that Kim is one creative crafter herself. Just take a look at the transformation of this table (once owned by Kathrine Hepburn) :






And this table setting is so inspiring! I love the different colored plates. And did you see the wall?



Is it wrong that looking through her Flickr makes me the tiniest bit jealous that I'm here in this small apartment with carpeted floors and no sense of style? When we do finally make it to PA and get a house of our own, I'll know where to go for inspiration.
Make sure you check out both of her blogs, you won't be disappointed!

More from "Eat, Pray, Love"

"God dwells within you, as you."
As You.
If there is one holy truth of this Yoga, that line encapsulates it. God dwells within you as you yourself, exactly the way you are. God isn't interested in watching you enact some performance of personality in order to comply with some crackpot notion you have about how a spiritual person looks or behaves. We all seem to get this idea that, in order to be sacred, we have to make some massive, dramatic change of character, that we have to renounce our individuality: This is a classic example of what they call in the East "wrong-thinking." Swamiji used to say that every day renunciants find something new to renounce, but it is usually depression, not peace that they attain. Constantly he was teaching that austerity and renunciation-just for their own sake-are not what you need. To know God, you need only to renounce one thing-your sense of division from God. Otherwise, just stay as you were made, within your natural character.

In another part of the book she mentions doing a handstand and says "God loves to feel things through our hands".

May we each use our hands in our own unique way to feel things for God. May you and I both remember that God dwells within us, as us.

Erin and I went to the park today so she could practice skateboarding. I roller bladed along side her and gave her encouragement when she wanted to give up. By the time we were ready to leave she was skateboarding for long stretches without coming close to colliding with the ground. I was so proud of her. As a treat we visited a Craft'it where we drooled over craft supplies and shared strawberry cheesecake gelato.

David isn't feeling well. He picked up some kind of stomach flu. I had to convince him to call his boss at 5 this evening after he had worked all day feeling sick. He had a temperature of 102 when he finally came home. He's in bed now and I've been making sure he has plenty of fluids and a cool wash cloth. I also gave him some pro-biotics and ibuprofen. I hope he is feeling better tomorrow and that neither Erin or I catch it.



I scraplifted this layout from one made by Shawn. Her work always inspires me. The glitter swirl from Harvest Spice kit by the fabulous Shabby Princess. Everything else is from my Falling Again freebie kit.