Monday, April 07, 2008

A few nights ago I had dinner at a lovely Thai restaurant with my friend, Nicky. Now I can't get enough beef and broccoli. I attempted to make my own last night. It came out well enough though the recipe was more on the sweet side and I like the savory version. The next time I make it, I will omit the sugar and add more garlic.

My waist may be growing, but the scale doesn't show it. I've lost another pound. I'm not sure if I should be worried or not. The doctor doesn't seem to be concerned. He says that as long as I'm eating healthy foods everything is okay.

After scouring the internet and baby name books we've finally chosen baby names. For a girl we picked Hannah Riley, (I used to watch a little girl in the nursery at church named Hannah and have loved the name ever since.) and for a boy, Hayden Tyler. Of course, there is always a chance these will change, but they are the first names we've agreed on as a family.

Lately, the pressure that Erin is putting on me to be the "perfect" mom is overwelming. I'm not sure how much of it has to do with the pregnancy and how much of it is just Erin being Erin, but she sure knows how to push the guilt buttons. If I miss a night of reading with her because she stays up until eleven and I fall asleep at nine, I hear about it the next morning. She has also become very pushy with the things she wants/needs. Her skateboard broke last week and I got to hear about it several times day until David and his dad were able to fix it. When we talk about the baby she seems very excited. I've tried not to make the baby the center of our world and we've been making sure to pay more attention to Erin. We've been taking her to the skatepark so she can practice, and David took her out for a father/daughter date last week. We walk a fine line between letting her know she is still our special girl and not letting her manipulate the situation so that she gets whatever she wants whenever she wants. I've been searching for a big sister book, but have only found them for small children. She's been the only one for so long, that I know this is going to be a difficult transition for her.


McMom said...

Don't worry about your weight ! Just make sure you are eating healthy. If you are eating and drinking fine and keeping it down, weight should not be a worry.

I love the names you have chosen! I had my daughters name, Emily, picked out back when I was in HS. I was afraid I was never going to get to use it, but she finally suprised us and came as baby #4.

I think Erin is just starting to "test the water", with a new baby coming. It sounds like you are doing all the right things. Keep her involved in the progress of the pregnancy. Try and let her be at your ultrasound , when you have one. She is older so she is displaying her feelings in different ways. (weather she knows it or not) My kids that were younger "turned back into babies" to gain attention. When I had Emily my older sons fell in love with her when she was born and were protective. I bet thats is what will happen for Erin. She will turn into a "little Mommy". One of my sons would just sit and hold Emily while she slept and she slept alot because she was a preemie. Now Emily is 7 and bossy, so we have other issues we are working on. Her brothers still love her but they have a hard time showing it when she is such a pill.

Kelli said...

I LOVE the names! Hannah was my first choice of a girls name before I married Carl. After that, I didn't think Hannah Hansen sounded all that great:) A little too much like a tv personality from the 50's!

I wish I had some advice concerning Erin. I have no idea what that would be like. I can only imagine it could be a hard transition for her. Altough, I have to say that you being concerned in advance, watching for any signs that she's having a hard time, etc. seems like the best thing you can do.

Kristen said...

You're a good mom, Sandra. I love the names. I love Riley for a girl's name. Guess you could call the baby, Baby H, for now. :)

aola said...

When I got pregnant with Emily I was so afraid that I wouldn't have enough(enough of anything - love, energy,etc) for two kids. After she was born I tried so hard to make sure Levi didn't feel left out, but, it didn't take me long to figure out that it wasn't that he wasn't getting enough attention - he wanted ALL the attention. So, I stopped trying so hard and he just had to live with the fact that there was a new baby and her needs had to come first. He sucked it up and became a great big brother.

Anonymous said...

Well, I was 13 and in the 7th grade when my brother came along, and it wasn't easy for me.
I guess it should be more understandable at that age, but it's hard, because I at least felt like I was finally doing things that meant something, and my parents didn't have the time to put into me anymore, as they had to tend to the baby.
I would also recommend that you keep Erin involved if you can (one thing that helped me a lot was reading basic pregnancy books -- I knew then what mom was going through, though you probably want to judge if Erin is ready for something like that!). If you can keep her up on what's going on, then she can feel then like she at least has some handle on the situation.
By the way, I love reading your blog.

Unknown said...

This has got to be a hard time for all of you, the anticipation of such a big change, even one as good as this one is.

Have you talked with her directly about the 'perfect mom' thing? She's certainly old enough for that kind of talk, and you'll feel better for having had it. I'm a fan of saying what needs to be said. Clarity, Clarity, Clarity.

Weight loss through pregnancy, now why didn't I think of that? ;) Baby H must be using lots of energy!

You are going to be a great double-duty mommy!

R said...

neat names.
you've got lots and lots of time to gain weight.

Sandra said...

Thanks for all the great advice ladies!
Cheri, I think that, like your boys, once we have the baby Erin will fall in love with him/her and will be a wonderful big sister. The transition will take some getting used to though.
Keli, my sister-in-law loved the name Heidi, but married someone with the last name Gerpheidie. Needless to say there are no Heidi's in her family.
Kristen, we are calling the baby "Baby H" now. :)
A, you always give such sound advice. I have a feeling that some of what Erin is doing is pushing to see just how far she can take it. I'm afraid she won't get very far at all.
Tabitha, your insight, is priceless. As someone who has been there, it's just the type of information I needed. Erin is almost exactly where you were when your brother was born. She will be almost 13 and in the 7th grade. I will make it a point to remember the huge changes this will mean for her and remember to give recognition to all of those important moments that will be happening.
CV, I have had the "perfect mommy" talk with Erin several times just in the last week. In fact, yesterday we had the talk again. I'm not sure if it is just the stuborn streak in her that wants what it wants and refuses to settle, or if she really does imagine that there is some mother out there who really is perfect and holds me to that standard. At any rate I've explained to her many times that I am not and never will be perfect and that all I can do is my best. Sometimes she gets it and appologizes for being so pushing, other times she just shrugs her shoulders and walks away.
Becky, of course you are right, I do have much time to gain weight. The doctor doesn't want me to gain more that 20lbs, and I'd really prefer not to as well. I don't want a lot of weight to lose after the baby comes.

E. Michelle said...

i love both Hannah and Hayden.

Also, i have been playing more with Judah and he keeps pushing, all day long, for even more play time. fun.

Emma said...

Don't worry about the weight. I had a similar situation with my second, because I had extra weight to begin with, so I didn't need to gain weight. The baby was just using what was already there.