Saturday, June 06, 2009

The Scar

I'm self conscious about it in a way I did not expect to be. It's visable above the top of almost every shirt I own. It is red and rises from my pale white skin snaking between my breast. I don't like that it's there for everyone to see. It tells a story I'd rather not be told until I'm ready to tell it. People see it and start conversations with questions like "Is that what I think it is? You are much too young for that!". One man saw it and welcomed me to the "zipper club".

6 comments:

aola said...

yikes... people are so weird. I can't imagine starting a conversation like that with someone I didn't know.

I guess you could go buy some new shirts :)

Cara said...

I understand completely. My scars are so huge, and when they were new they were so RED! Have you started putting Mederma on it yet? There is also some makeup specifically to cover scarring and wear like iron. I've seen that and it's amazing stuff. One of my brides had a huge birthmark on her cheek and you couldn't tell.

Get yourself some new shirts, and if people insert themselves into your business, just say 'That's private'.
Most people will apologize right away.

You weren't too young, or too old, you had what you had and that was it.

In time, your scar will fade, as will your self consciousness.

Sandra said...

Yeah people are strange. I'll be buying new shirts although the only thing high enough not to show the scar are T-shirts. I'm not self conscious about the scar in the fact that I care if others see it. I just don't want people thinking it means they can ask me questions or talk to me about it. I'm kinda private like that.
I haven't used Maderma yet, but will. I have to wait another week or so before I can put anything on it just to avoid any chance of infection.
I'll look into the makeup! Any excuse to buy new makeup right?

Mary said...

Sandra,

People that comment on such things are downright rude. My husband has the same scar. His surgery was in 2001. The redness will leave after a time.

Don't pay them any mind. You are so lucky to live in a time when heart surgery is possible. My first hubby wasn't as fortunate. Those were the days before all the modern technology.

Praying for you.
Blessings,
Mary

Kristen said...

I'm not in your shoes, but I hope one day you can look at it like stretch marks or a c-section scar: "I am Sandra! Hear me roar!"

I would think you'd be used to annoying comments after pregnancy. :) J/k. I know I just had to nod and smile sometimes, but I dunno, maybe you can have a snappy comeback. "Why are you looking at my boobs?" LOL

Sandra said...

Thank you all for your comments. I'm dealing with the scar. I'd have to wear t-shirts if I wanted it covered all the time. It sits about an inch below my collar bone. Lately, I've just been wearing whatever I want and if people ask they ask. If they stare, they stare. It is what it is. I didn't ask for it or want it, but there are worse things. I won't let it change me. :)