A time for everything.

For Hayden

You are on your way little man. Very soon you will greet the world. I wonder if either of us know what we've gotten ourselves in to. It helps me to know that we'll be traveling this path for the first time together, neither of us having been this way before. I hope that I will be enough for you, but never too much. I hope I can give you the wings you need to fly and not be afraid to let you use them. I have a million dreams for you, but they all boil down to one simple desire, your happiness. Whatever you do, wherever you go, I hope I can give you what it takes to hold on to happiness whatever comes your way. Life is a crazy, rough, beautiful ride. I hope I can give you the courage to hold on through the tough parts and the ability to pause and enjoy the beauty of it all.

love,
mom

I wrote this for Hayden hours before heading to the hospital and headlong into events I could never have imagined. It seems impossible that a year has gone by and that a year could hold so much of the crazy, rough, beautiful ride I spoke of in my note. I have never experienced such high highs and low lows in so close a proximity. At times the beauty and pain was so closely related that I didn't know if I was crying from happiness, sadness, or a combination of the two.
My hope for Hayden has not changed. I hope I can teach him to be happy no matter the situation he is in. I hope I can teach him to be strong and courageous. I hope he will enjoy life no matter what it throws at him.