Yesterday was beautiful. David and I spent the day working in the yard. It was a bit neglected last summer because of all the chaos, so there was a lot to be done. We managed to put a pretty good dent in it, but there is still more to do. I think there will always be more to do.
My step-sister, nephew, grandma, and aunt came over for dinner. I made pecan crusted salmon for my step-sister, grandma, and me. David made taco's for everyone else. The salmon was delicious! I had it in a restaurant in San Francisco once and I've wanted to make it since, but never got around to it. My sister was in Pittsburgh over the weekend and was nice enough to buy me some fresh salmon so I thought I'd give it a go. I'm glad I did. It was yummy.
We sat out on the porch while we ate. I played one of my favorite cd's and we enjoyed the nice weather and each others company.
For desert I made my favorite cream puff cake. I substituted regular pudding for sugar free because I'm in a more health conscious mood than I have been lately.

This week promises to be busy. Erin has a counseling appointment tomorrow night, softball practice on Thursday, my mom will be here Saturday, and the entire family is meeting for dinner on Sunday. I hope that Erin and I will have a little time to work on the flower garden together, and I'd like to make a trip to Home Depot for an heirloom tomato plant and maybe a strawberry plant. My grandma is handling the big vegetable garden at her house, but I want to have tomatoes here. I'd love to have my own mini garden with garlic, onions, lettuce, cucumbers, and a ton of flowers, but there isn't time for me to do all of that before the surgery. So a few potted herbs, a flower bed, and a tomato plant will have to do this year.

In the begining...

The seeds Erin and I planted just four days ago...





We are both so excited about them and check on them several times a day. They seem to be doing wonderfully in their little plastic green house. I will start the herbs tomorrow. They are going in hanging baskets on the porch. We planted a Peony and three Dalia's yesterday. My grandma will be starting the vegetable garden at her house while I am in the hospital. I've enlisted Erin to help with that. They yard is coming along. We still have a ton of work to do. Everything in it's time right?

Hey Hey had his six month check-up on Monday. He weighs a whopping 18.6 lbs and is 28 inches long. He's crawling like crazy, learning to drink from a sippy cup, and trying all sorts of food thanks to a quick and easy food grinder given to us by our friend Gina. He's taking his baths in the big bath tub and loves it. Bath time is his favorite time. He turns from his back to his tummy and back again. He's tried crawling in the tub and found it was a little more difficult than he expected. He also likes to drink the bath water which makes me crazy. :) He's saying "dadadada, mamamamama, lalalala, and babababa" He has two teeth buds on the bottom. His doctor thinks they'll be in before his next appointment in June. His second favorite part of the day is the morning when he and I lay in the bed and I pull the curtains away from the window and let the light fall on us. Then I let the curtains float back to the window and do it all again. He watches in amazement and coos at the light. I think he could lay there for hours and watch. It's so cute!

I am doing my best to not let my mind wander, but D-day is fast approaching and that task has become more and more difficult. I dream about having a tube stuck in my throat and not being able to tell anyone how much it hurts.

Where my head is...

When asked what he thought of the meaning of God, grandfather said: “There is an indefinable mysterious Power that pervades everything. I feel it, though I do not see it. It is this unseen Power which makes itself felt and yet defies all proof, because it is so beyond all that we perceive through our physical senses. This unseen Power transcends our rationality and our senses. While we certainly do experience God’s existence, our attempts to reason it out intellectually will always prove to be a humbling and limited exercise.
"Grandfather wrote, “I do dimly perceive that whilst everything around me is ever-changing, ever-dying, there is underlying all that change a Living Power that is changeless, that holds all together, that creates, dissolves and re-creates. That informing Power or Spirit is God…. For I can see that in the midst of death life persists; in the midst of untruth truth persists; in the midst of darkness light persists. Hence I gather that God is Life, Truth, and Light. God is Love. God is the Supreme Good.” "
– Arun Gandhi

Hayden is almost asleep in his swing, David and Erin are upstairs having a conversation about boys and why "making out" is not a good idea (welcome to life with a teenager), and I'm contemplating all the ways we could skip this part and go right to the twenty-something-year-old daughter realizes parents were right all along and says she's sorry for trying to sneak away from the bus stop to make out with horny little boys. Actually, I just wish this was as bad as it gets, but I know this is only the tip of the iceberg. It hasn't been that long since I was a teenager, but things have changed so much. Granted, I wasn't what anyone would call a normal teenager, but I did have friends who were normal. The pace of things has picked up so much! Of course we had a few friends who would sneak off and make out at 13, but for the most part that didn't really catch on until we were around 15 or 16. If you could only read the things some of these boys have said to her you would want to pour Clorox in your ear just to clean your mind and I'm really not exaggerating. It was all I could do to keep David from hunting the boy down. He did send him an e-mail letting him know he wasn't to talk to, look at, or think about Erin ever again. He hasn't so much as glanced Erin's direction sense. The only thing worse than having a teenage daughter is having a teenage daughter who doesn't understand just how pretty she is. It's dangerous territory.

We had dinner with my grandma and aunt tonight. I invited them over and made chicken breast stuffed with Laughing Cow garlic and herb cheese, these sweet potatoes, and my grandma made a delicious chocolate cake. It's always nice to spend time with them. I see less of them than I thought I would once we moved here. My grandma has a more active social life than I do. It's sad, I know.

Hayden is crawling. He seems to have a "danger" detector and goes straight for things like the chords by the computer and t.v. and the glider. He keeps me on my toes. He's also developed quite an attitude. When he isn't given what he wants when he wants it he kicks his feet and screams. I know I shouldn't laugh, but it's so funny when he does it. I can tell he is going to be one of those babies that learns the word "no" very quickly. Even with his crawling into danger and fit throwing, I love him to pieces and can't get enough of him. That doesn't mean I didn't completely enjoy a break to sip coffee and converse with Jen on Sunday. Good times with old friends (the friendship is old not Jen) are always welcome! We talked and laughed for hours and covered every major subject except for politics although there was talk about that Ayers guy so maybe we did cover politics.

Erin has decided to try out for cheer leading. I'm signing her up for a tumbling class next week. She's taken a few before so I have no doubt she'll do well. I just have to keep her focused on it. She has a tendency to bounce all over the place. I have that same tendency so it's hard to keep us both on track.

My mind is still full of thoughts about the surgery (mostly the "I don't want to do this" variety) but I'm trying to push those thoughts away for now. It may be best if I let it sneak up on me. Then it will be done and over with before I have a chance to really think about it. That plan will probably only last until they call me for the pre-op appointments this month. Expect a full blown tantrum at that time. I really am trying to keep it all in perspective.

We're having a big family Easter and my aunt wants to know what I'm bringing. Anyone have any good ideas? My aunt requested the sweet potatoes mentioned above so I'll be taking those, but I'd like to take something else too.