Friday, May 14, 2010

Erin ran away Tuesday night. She wasn't gone long. My step-sister picked her up and brought her home. To say it's been a rough couple of months in our house is an understatement. To say that I've handled it all with grace and wisdom would be a lie. Sometimes I forget how it feels to be a teenager, all the hormones and crazy biological changes that are going on in her small body.
We are trying to accommodate these changes, to make them less painful. She can wear the clothes, and make-up she wants. She can die her hair purple if that's what she'd like. The only thing we aren't budging on is her being alone with her boyfriend, and of course this is the only thing she wants. The one thing that will make her world right. I guess her world will not be right for a while.
Parenting a teenage daughter is more difficult than I could have ever imagined. I won't lie. I did have the tiniest bit of illusion that we could rescue Erin from all of the hurt that was done to her and from herself. I imagined that it would be hard, but I never thought it wouldn't happen. I haven't given up hope, but I'm not as convinced as I used to be. Recently, her favorite thing to say to me is "Let me make my mistakes and suffer the natural consequences for myself." How can a parent do that when the consequences can be so costly? How do you convince them that they are not invincible?
We had a nice long family talked and Erin agreed to stay here and work though things. I agreed not to push when she is angry and to give her the space she needs. We will keep trying.

8 comments:

Denise said...
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Kristen said...

That is tough. Sorry, friend. You are doing a good job, Sandra--so don't be discouraged.

Kristen said...

I wish I had better advice or encouragement.

Cara said...

Dear One,

I absolutely agree with the lines that you have drawn for Erin. She needs the structure and even though she hates it, in the end she will be better for it.

I'm glad that she wasn't gone long, that nothing bad happened and that you all were able to sit down and talk afterward. This is huge.

Much Love,

C

aola said...

OH, I am so sorry I haven't been by sooner. No wonder I have been thinking about you so much lately....
I am sorry you are having to go thru this, you are an amazing woman to even put up with it and I admire you and David more than you could know for sticking with it.
When I was a teen I made Erin look like a goody-two-shoes kind of girl and my parents just gave up... end result... pregnant and living with a 28 year old ex Hells Angel at 16.

Hold your ground but don't beat yourself up when things don't go as planned. I suppose at this point all you can do is love her the best you can ('cause that is not easy sometimes with a teenager)

Sandra said...

Thank you all for your comments and kind words. We are working through things. It's been tough, I'm sure it will continue to be tough. For now things are calm. Erin is trying, I am trying, and we are making progress.

Katt said...

I truly believe you were born with the heart of a mother. You exhibited a love of children when you were not much more than a child. God gave you that gift, may be he knew this was coming, I dont know, but dont loose faith. You have so many people praying for you and Erin, you have a strong support group. We are here anytime you need us. I love you so much, and know in my heart that God will answer, and the outcome will be glorious.

jena strong said...

Wordless really, but witnessing you. And knowing that in a few short years, we will have two teenaged girls in the house. Erin is lucky to have you.