Living

I remind myself daily, that this is life.  We are all living beautiful messy lives.  With our own struggles and triumphs. None of us gets through this unscathed and none of us make it out alive.  So I keep pushing, fighting like mad for what I want and need.  I keep dreaming, hoping, and praying though prayer is nothing like it used to be.  It's often times a silent wrestle with myself.  Sometimes it's a gentle giving in, a letting go.  Other times it is a violent pleading mess of tears.
I search for the beauty in every day moments, nourishing my soul with the sunrise and sunset, Brown Eyed Susans, light dancing across a messy lawn, and the sliver of moon that glides silver and smooth across the pond.   I watch Hayden as he builds forts out of piles of dirt, chases lightening bugs, and fights with every fiber of his being to keep the sun from going down and his best friend from going home.  For him, this moment is all that matters.  Tomorrow is much too far away to worry about and yesterday is a distant memory.  He reminds me to live in the moment, to take hold of today. That's the best kind of living.