Friday, March 31, 2006

I have been so tired this week that I've been taking naps every day when I get home. I'm sure my lack of energy has something to do with the gray cloud-filled sky and rain.
I was listening to the radio on my way home from work Tuesday and happened to stop on a station where a woman was talking about essential oils. It's nothing I would normally listen to, but her voice was so calm and soothing that I didn't change the station. She was talking about connecting with nature through different essential oils. One thing she said really struck me. When a person isn't showing compassion for the world around them it's because they aren't in touch with their own feelings. As I drove, I thought about her words, and the fast paced life that surrounds me here. When I first moved here, seeing a homeless person always brought me to tears and moved me to help however I could. Now, when I see them taking up space at the park I like to take Erin too, I feel bad, but part of me considers them a nuisance. I'm not sure how I made the leap from feeling true compassion for these people to wishing that they would find another park to inhabit so that I could take my daughter to the park without being bombarded with requests for money. Somehow, I disconnected from myself and the world around me. It didn't happen over night, but gradually part of me has become numb. Maybe it's because I am always tired. Living here takes so much out of a person. Maybe the last year of working my job, working for David, and taking care of Erin pretty much by myself as taken it's toll on me. Maybe it's the people who call me only because the need something. Whatever it is, I'm ready to reconnect with myself and the world around me. I can't live without feeling.


aola said...

I think we just get so freakin' busy doing the things we have to do every day, day in, day out, that we lose touch, temporarily, with what is important to us.
It's still there... nothing a weekend off in the country (or a move to PA) won't fix.

Sandra said...

I think you are so right! David has next weekend off and I'm planning a picknic weather permitting. We just need a chance to reconnect with each other, nature, and our dreams. :)