Monday, February 12, 2007

I'm not sure what has gotten in to me lately. I haven't been returning phone calls. I haven't wanted to go anywhere or do anything. Home seems like the most comfortable place to me and so it has become my hideout. If it weren't for David and Erin, no one would see me. I don't feel sad or depressed. I just want to be home. I want things to be quiet and still for a while. I haven't been sleeping well lately and I'm sure that plays a role in my new found longing for solitude. I'm not a nice person when I don't get sleep. My mind is buzzing with all the questions that life has just taken on. I'm not worried about what will happen. I'm a planner. So, I spend every moment, even those which should be spent sleeping, planning. Yet making a plan so early seems pointless. The last six months have provided every twist and turn imaginable. Who's to say the next six won't do the same?

I talked to Laurie today. Abbey is sick with what they think is the flu. That's really bad news with a 12 day-old baby on board. Please offer a prayer that Abbey will get better and that Taylor won't get sick at all.


Kristen said...

Oh man, I am the same way.

You may find you have to "force" yourself a little to get out and see other people. Just taking some time to focus on other people helps me put my life in perspective, you know?

aola said...

We all need solitude sometimes.. maybe this just needs to be your time. You have had a lot to deal with recently and lots more coming up soon.
Be good to yourself - first.

Sandra said...

Thanks Kristen and Aola. I think you are both right. I need to find balance. I push myself sometimes when I don't really want to do something and there is a time and place for that. The trick is to know when to push myself and when to let things slide.

R said...

Must be something in the air. I've been the same way.