Friday, March 28, 2008

Baby Jackson,

Your mama is a worrier by nature. I worry about the little things like if I am going to miss the alarm in the morning making myself late for work and about the really big things like if you are growing like you should be and if you are okay in there. Each time we visit the doctor and they tell me everything looks good, I feel a wave of relief wash over me.
I'm trying really hard not to worry so much, but at times this requires more faith than I can muster. I want to be excited and enjoy this journey that will only happen a few times in my life, but I feel like I can't relax until I am sure you are okay. I wonder if every mother feels this way. I am sure they do. There are so many unknowns. For every answer, there are a million questions. Perhaps I will be comforted by your kicks and flips once you start moving. They will be a sign that you are okay. Until then I will do my best to have faith in this process and in your amazing ability to grow and develop. Please don't be surprised if I have a whole new set of worries once you are born. Just ask your dad what happens when he is more than 30 minutes late getting home from work, or your sister, Erin, how protective I am of her.

7 comments:

Becky said...

so sweet.
it is a major time of worry but also waves of joy.

McMom said...

Very Sweet!! I think all Moms worry! I worried untuil I could hear the heartbeat and when I would go to work the first thing I would do was get the doppler and listen to my baby and kind of say good morning. I was even able to take the doppler home so my husband could hear. When I was pregnant with Emily our the Dr. office where I worked had a ultrasound machine. After I was done working before I left I would turn it on and look at her. That was fun!
After my babies were kicking and squirming in there I did not worry as much. Of course then you worry if you don't think they are moving enough. Moms are hopeless worriers!!

Kristen said...

Join the club, girlfriend. :)

I wrote a big long e-mail to a common sense-gifted friend earlier this week about SIDS and crib bumpers and co-sleeping and all that. She helped. Prayer seems to help. Knowing that I KNOW I'm going to do what's best for my kids (even if half the world disagrees with me--and they will since there are major pros and cons to nearly every childrearing decision you make) helps, too. I told Jason, when she's born I can't protect her as much! But I can't see her now...it's a scary thing at times.

Just trying to say, yeah. Me, too! Love you friend.

Kelli said...

I am a worrier, as well. It is definitely one of my biggest struggles. I can't say it gets much better once they're born, because it seems you trade one set of worries for another. However, I suppose the more you're broken in to being a parent, you sort of learn how to handle the worry. If that even makes sense. Although, you already have experience in parenting, so maybe it won't be as hard for you once the baby's here!

Kristen's right, though, prayer does help. At least it did me. I do hope you're able to really enjoy you're pregnancy. I didn't, and always wish that it had been more pleasant.

cv said...

Cheri even dragged ME to her Dr's office and made me run the stupid ultrasound machine "you SHURE you don't see a penix?" Me going over and over the little area like a mad monkey making some kind of crayon rubbing.

Worry is such a normal part of life. I look at it as proof that you care.

We care about YOU! :)

Denise said...

If you are going to worry do not pray, if you are going to pray do not worry. I have just one thing to say about this...... enjoy this journey...... leave the big things up to God and let Him create this child as He will do anyway...... He already knows that childs name and already knows how tall, and the color of eyes, and the color of hair......He has seen that child in the womb.......You enjoy the journey..... because you cannot change, undo or do anything different than taking care of yourself , do what the Dr says to do and dooooooooooooooo enjoy this time.... you are soooooooo right, you will only have this a couple of times in your life...... it is a time of GREAT blessing......... be joyful so the child will laugh a lot!!!!!!!!!!!!!

when you get a minute share a picture of the sewing box you have that belonged to grandmother...

Old Folks Blog said...

Hi SANDRA,you little worry wart,
or should I say,big worry wart.LOL
Everything will be fine,don't worry over things,that you have no control over,just put them in the hands of the Lord.He can handel it.
Love Ya.