Friday, January 16, 2009

Six Months In

Days are different here. They are so much more full than they ever have been. There is Hayden and Erin and an endless list of tasks, mostly self imposed. It's -6 degrees outside today which means our life, for the moment, is whatever is contained in these four walls. We are lucky enough to have big windows that give us an ample view of the snow, piled two feet high, and the trees cloaked in white.
Adventures here seem more labor intensive, but more worth our while too. We are slowly acclimating to life in a small town on the East coast. I'm enjoying (at least most of the time) learning to live on less and my plans for a huge garden in the spring have me very excited! My grandma is excited too. She didn't do much gardening last year because she had no one to help her. I plan on being all the help she needs this year and in truth she'll probably help me more than I could ever help her since I know very little about gardening.
Life post job is difficult for me. Part of me wants a job for the financial security it could bring us and another part of me feels guilty for not contributing financially to the family. That being said, this is really no time for me to consider finding a job. I'm trying very hard to focus on using this time to be with Hayden and Erin and to learn to truly live more simply. I'm also working on developing my photography skills and am looking forward to several shoots as soon as the weather allows. I'm trying to be brave like Cara and jump into the professional photography world, but I am full of self doubt. It's scary to put yourself out there and expect people to pay you for taking photos of them. The idea of being rejected is even more frightening. As if that fear wasn't enough the relentless voice of self doubt keeps telling me to stop pretending and get a "real" job. I'm hopeful that with practice and more study of photography I'll be able to quiet that voice and those fears.

In more exciting news, Hayden learned how to roll over. He's been so close for so long and now he's finally mastered the fine art. He's a boy on the move! I hope I'm ready!

9 comments:

Denise said...

Sandy,, what a surprise when I got home and started looking around my blog and found your sweet face on my blog........ I do love you and I do pray for you each day........ I love the look of your blog...... very nice...... and I have some thoughts on finding a "real job".. You follow your dreams girl...... follow your dreams.... the money will follow........ that is as God intends.. He gives us talent and he gives us passion......follow them..... they will bring you much joy.......

Praying for you and the days to come......

Love AD

McMom said...

I can't believe you have been there 6 months already!! You are going to have a very busy boy on your hands soon!!

aola said...

the video is so cute! Gosh, it goes fast, doesn't it?

Your part right now is doing just what you are doing! and you know that.

Mary said...

Sandy,

I am so glad that Denise pointed me to your blog. Hooray for Hayden! I have a great-nephew about his age and he just learned to roll over a week or so ago. His birthday is August 1st. When is Hayden's?

You follow your dreams girl and they will be realized. For years I dreamed of being an author and never gave up. I have now been published in print and online venues and if you go to my Writing Nook you can see a post about the site that I write for monthly. Keep living your dream and never give up...it will come.

Praying for you and your family. I do hope you enjoy the gardening. I wish I had a big plot of land to grow a garden, but alas, our space is very small.

Blessings,
Mary

Kelli said...

I love the new look! Did you do it on your own? Or did you have someone else do it -- and if so, who? I have been toying with the idea of making mine look pretty. But I am still unsure as of yet...

Cara said...

I love you new look on your blog! Awesome.

Your upcoming garden will just be amazing, I'm sure. If you don't have them, I recommend the following books: The Eastern Garden Book, and Stocking Up which is just an a to z how to preserve everything with nearly every method.

If you are unsure about canning, there are tons of resources I can point you toward. There's just nothing better in the pantry than seeing 40 jars of spaghetti sauce that you've made and canned yourself.

Thank you for the nice things you said about me, I have been struggling about the business which you know. I took tons of photos of bugs, birds, and inanimate things before I ever started on people and weddings. Also my first couple of weddings were free and the couples understood that I was just learning.

YOU take marvelous photos, the rest is just study and practice. Just like Hayden.

;)

Katt said...

Dont let the fear of rejection hold you back. You are a gifted young lady in so many ways. I have spent a life time not moving forward for fear of being slapped down, I have allowed others to make me afraid of being who I am and doing what I could do.
Do not let that happen in your life. You have a great talent... others see it. Press on....."For God had not given you a spirit of fear, but of love, power and a sound mind" Walk in his strength.
I love you so much
Mom

aola said...

and.. oh, I love your new look. It is so YOU!

Sweetie - you can do ANYTHING you set your mind to do. I have seen you do it over and over again.

So, when you are ready - you GO for it.

Denise said...

Sandy, I have some things to send to you....... wonder if you would email me and let me have your address... :)