November

All the leaves have fallen.  Their dull yellow, orange, and brown remnants are spread across the lawn, their final resting place.  The sky is grey blue and streaked with wispy white clouds.  Last night I stood outside in the crisp night air and watched each exhale climb it's way towards the impossibly distant stars.  Lately I have felt so far away from myself.  Busy doing, seems to be my story.  There are times when just making it from day to day takes all of the energy and willpower I have. So much of the last four years has been wrapped up in one drama after another; having Hayden, open heart surgery, recovery, Erin, school, Erin.  I am ready for the stillness that winter will bring. I'm ready for the silence of snow gently falling and smoke rising effortlessly from chimneys.  I am ready for shorter days and longer nights.  I'm ready to rest.